Sweet Release, Temporary Freedom

In my last blog post i alluded to the fact that there have been a few developments of late i intended to write about. The subject of this post would've definitely taken away from the subject of the prior post, because shortly after being kind of mocked at a fetish party for being 8 months without a satisfying orgasm, that drought has finally been broken.

Many times i had politely suggested to Goddess D that physiologically i felt all messed up and needed a reset. Many times She pretty much told me She didn't care, and that She wanted at least a year if not longer. Fast forward to a Friday night in a college town where we went out to some of the local bars. Both of us had a good time and a decent amount to drink, but one drink order in particular put me over the top in terms of inebriation. Basically i had ordered a mixed drink that was more than large enough to share, but She didn't seem to have any interest in it. Instead, She allowed me to get pretty messed up off of it while She remained relatively under control. When we got back to the hotel room i was in pretty bad shape and crashed onto the bed. It was very late, probably about 4 AM. The thought of engaging in any kind of activities in the bedroom at that point had not even crossed my mind. Yet D was feeling something and just seems to love when i'm especially vulnerable in moments like that. She pretty much pinned me down and attacked. It wasn't long before Her panties were off and She was sitting down on my face, closing off all ability to see and breathe and started playing with my nonresponsive (due to level of drunkenness) equipment down there. As much as i flailed and tried to get free to breathe, She almost effortlessly put me right back where i was, as i was dizzy and had very little strength to force Her off. Eventually, although it took a little longer than normal, this did arouse me and i finally got hard for Her.

Very often in our Domme/sub relationship, and in many of our clips, D does things like this to me only to ruin an orgasm or to stop altogether and get Her vibraror to finish Herself off in front of my face. Every once in a while though She does decide that She wants the real thing and that was the case here. She had every intention of doing this for a while and then hopping off and denying me again, but this time, possibly as a result of some drinking Herself, She just got so into it that She pushed me far past the point of no return. Honestly i wasn't trying to hide it or sneak it, my groans were very audible and picking up as we got closer and closer to that moment and even after i exploded she didn't realize it until many seconds afterwards. She hopped off in an attempt to ruin but we were far past that point (although i'm not going to lie at that point i'd have loved a few more extra bounces). She may have just assumed that i wouldn't be able to cum after all that drinking, but i definitely was. After 8 months denied, that was an incredible feeling, drunk or not.

Now that this has happened, i do have to admit that over the last few months i found myself almost hiding from anything sexual due to my situation. What i mean by that is i was almost afraid to get aroused by anything sexually or even think about it when away from home out of fear that i would cum involuntarily. And i'm not sure that it ever would've happened, but there were definitely times even walking around day-to-day that it felt unusually sensitive down there and that just maybe it was possible that could happen. As much as i hate to say it, in a way it just kind of stopped being fun when it got to that point, not all the time but certainly part of the time. It's difficult to enjoy an intense ongoing interaction with D when i feel i have no choice but to shut down in order to avoid complete embarrassment. However, if D was enjoying it then i was in no place to complain, as Her desires come first. When this was at its most intense, a few sexual thoughts when in the company of beautiful Women was harmless and added to my torture. All of this is a function i think of having never gone longer than a month without orgasm and just reaching a deep level of uncharted territory to the point where it became somewhat aimless.

By the way, if you want something that sums up how i was feeling day-to-day, my greatest fears are captured hilariously by the Lonely Island video "Jizz in My Pants". So hilarious but for real i felt like this could've been me haha.

So now that i've had a release, what next? Of course, D could just put a stop to any more happening like that. After all it's only one time. Fortunately, i think now that this has happened She agrees that after that amount of time a short holiday may be the best approach. For the last few weeks i've been free to cum normally, and have been doing so pretty much daily. This has all pretty much reminded me how great it feels and admittedly i'd love it for the holiday to last into the foreseeable future at this point. The topic of chastity is still a major turn-on, but the ability to enjoy orgasms is something that i definitely took for granted and am greatly appreciating right now.

Despite that, D has made it pretty clear that She doesn't like this. She's busy with some things right now and is taking a bit of a holiday from paying attention to these matters for the moment. But it's clear that She prefers to control me. Never did i think we'd reach a place in our lives where we evolved into a true Dominant/submissive situation but there's no changing Her mind on that now. Any day now, and i'm not sure when, She's going to put me back into chastity. And the fear this time is that it's going to be for at least a year. She's mentioned it multiple times and it seems to be a goal of Hers to force me into an entire year out of my life of that torture. And of course that's not all. The things that will be done to me throughout that time are going to be a lot to handle. She just ordered a bondage sack in the mail, which i'm sure will be used to hold me helplessly in place while She cruelly ruins orgasms or just prevents my movement and keeps me where She wants me while She runs Her errands.  She also ordered a funnel gag and, well, that's just scary. With every intensely pleasurable orgasm i indulge in now, those things are kind of in the back of my mind. These are highly arousing but also highly intimidating thoughts. Before long, much of it will be reality so surely there will be more stories to come.

Fetish Party!

It's been busy of late and there hasn't been much time to blog, but i hope to find some more time to write as there have been several developments of late. The many new experiences in the current year have been one heck of a roller coaster ride. There are times when it's non-stop intense and other times where it all just kind of has to calm down a little bit, but overall i'm just thrilled with the ride!

One really cool experience that happened recently in our travels was getting invited to a fetish party. It's kind of a long story as to how this developed. A few years back i ordered a custom clip from a Domme, one whose work i've been familiar with and a fan of for some time. Just to be extra cautious i'll keep Her identity anonymous for purposes of this blog. Funny thing is i've not really ordered that many customs over the years but it pretty much has happened only when Goddess D has had me in chastity. A couple of weeks into not being able to cum i just get these really intense sexual urges and i find myself seeking other forms of stimulation to compensate. The denied feeling gets really intense and i sort of helplessly do things to drive myself deeper into frustration. Goddess D knows this pattern by now and mostly encourages it. At the end of the day it's a lot of fun once we're on the same page with each other. We definitely understand what makes the other tick and it really is harmless fun (and definitely profitable for several hard-working Dommes in the industry)!

Anyway, back to the fetish party. The Domme who filmed that custom clip a few years ago seems very supportive of others in the industry and actually started following Goddess D a while back. To the best of my knowledge i don't think She had any idea of the connection between Goddess D and my custom. As a matter of fact i'm almost sure She didn't. So that was just one of those cool moments where Goddess D realized that we're not only fans but in some very small way, peers as well. In my enthusiasm i interacted with this Domme over Twitter a few times and She was kind enough to suggest we let Her know if we're ever in Her area. Never did i really expect She'd actually want to meet us, but we did happen to be in Her area recently and notified Her in passing, and She actually invited us to a fetish party being held one evening.

Now, as adventurous as Goddess D and i have been of late, a fetish party is something completely new to both of us. Just having content on the internet was a huge step but we've never been in an environment where strangers are engaging in fetish-related activities. We had no idea really what to expect, what to wear or anything, but this was too cool of an opportunity to pass up and we showed up. The moment we arrived we immediately recognized not just the Domme i interacted with but another very well known Domme pretty much greeting everyone at the door and looking beautiful as they always do. It was kind of awkward walking up and introducing ourselves because for that first meeting they really had no idea who we were, but we introduced ourselves and entered the building. It was a super cool playspace with all kinds of activities already going on. Most of it wasn't even Femdom. Just people with all types of different fetish interests hanging out, some actually being tied up, spanked and whipped in various ways. Many appeared to be couples and others perhaps not but more than willing to play anyway. Others simply observed and had friendly chats with people. It was a very open and welcoming environment.

We actually had a pretty lengthy conversation with a very cool couple there who is involved in a male dominant, female submissive relationship, and although our interests couldn't be further apart from each other, it was a really interesting conversation. It was evident that they were very much in love with each other and both found the power dynamic in their relationship fulfilling much like Goddess D and i do in ours. We chatted a bit about what they're looking for in their sexual relationship and discussed our clip store a bit ourselves. It was an eye opening and entertaining conversation for all involved.

Eventually after being there for a while we returned to the front and struck up a conversation with the two well-known Dommes. We expressed how grateful we were for the invite and made it very clear that this was our first such experience. You'd think i'd be extremely nervous just having a casual conversation with two Dommes i've observed on the internet for years, but honestly they were just such cool people i wasn't nervous at all. It was so fun to just talk about our clip store with them and share experiences on some level. They are both extremely busy people and although i'd have loved to talk to them all night, it was pretty thrilling to even have about 10-15 minutes to chat.

At one point during the conversation Goddess D informed them about how i haven't cum in 8 months, which just caught me very off-guard. That kind of embarrassed me a little, until the Domme who invited us immediately reacted excitedly and yelled across the room to the bartender pointing at me "This guy hasn't cum in 8 months!" That's when i froze and just kind of freaked out a bit. It was actually really funny and he was a very friendly bartender from the very beginning, but i just froze. He may have even tried to get me to walk over and high five him i can't even remember. She was nice enough to point out that this was a fetish party and nobody cares, and of course i knew that. When i think back on it, that was a really cool moment, to have a Domme i've long been a fan of from a distance comment on my chastity situation in person like that right in front of me.

We just all kind of hung out in a friendly way like any other party to the point where it never really fully sunk in who we were hanging with until after we left. As busy as they are it was such a small interaction to them but had such a major impact on Goddess D and i and we were so glad we came. One of the Dommes actually asked if D wanted to tie me up or something but She hasn't learned the rope skills that many of the folks there were demonstrating and it was already kind of getting late in the night. We eventually let them carry on into conversations with other people, we walked around a bit more and finally exchanged hugs at the door on our way out. i was probably mostly a babbling idiot but it was clear they enjoyed Goddess D's personality from the start, and i wasn't the slightest bit surprised about that.

In our travels we did also have dinner another Domme, and since She Tweeted about it i'll go ahead and disclose that it was Goddess Sapphire. That was a pretty crazy conversation as well because it was mostly Goddess Sapphire and Goddess D going on with a multiple hour conversation just talking about ways to torture their subs. We finished dinner and still stayed well past the restaurant's closing time. Being in the presence of two Goddesses just openly discussing how to torment lowly subs such as myself was kinda crazy lol.

It was really cool to come out of our shell and meet people in the fetish community like we did recently. Although i'll be the first to admit in a different setting i'd be intimidated as fuck being in the presence of these amazing Women, they're human beings like anyone else first and foremost. Both Goddess D and i were glad to meet all of them. i'm sure that won't be our last fetish party nor will it be our last in-person interaction with folks in the fetish community.

There's plenty more to write about. Princess Sheridan created an awesome custom clip for Goddess D and i, renewing our wedding vows in a Femdom setting. It goes without saying that Princess Sheridan is smart and sexy in all of Her clips, but i must admit that Her sense of humor (at my expense, no doubt), was the most amazing thing about the clip. It was so clever and witty and we had no idea what the subject of the clip was going to be before we received it!

i could go on and on but it's time for bed. Hopefully i have more time to revisit the blog soon!

Double Domme Experience, Round 2

Well it's official...i've gotten myself in over my head again. Goddess D and i were out on the town last night and made a late trip to the strip club without any real expectations. There were no assurances the dancer from the previous visit would be there as we hadn't exchanged any messages with Her and the club was extremely crowded anyway. As far as we were concerned we might just end up having a few drinks and heading home. To my surprise, it took all of 10 minutes for the dancer to spot us and She was drawn to Goddess D like a magnet.

i sat there for quite a while while they chatted with each other. It was very loud and i couldn't hear much of what was said, but about 5 minutes went by before the dancer even acknowledged me with a condescending handshake. She may have even referred to Goddess D as beautiful and me ugly or something while initially approaching. Even now i have weird feelings about it. Clearly i have no expectation that a dancer i really don't know will have any kind of real affection for me. She's made some decent money off of me and obviously She has affection for that at a minimum (i'm not an idiot when it comes to these matters, really). However, we always got along very well, had some good conversations and generally had fun. She flipped the switch so fast to a Domme demeanor and even in friendly moments out on the main floor, She demonstrated that attitude of superiority after treating me completely normally as recently as two weeks ago. There is still respectful conversation amongst the three of us when discussing all of our craziness and She is definitely worried about pushing it too far at times, but there was still a noticeable change in our interactions.

The dancer immediately treated Goddess D as superior and pretty much ignored me. Before long i noticed that Goddess D was showing Her a few things on Her phone, clearly showing the dancer material from Her Twitter account (which of course includes me naked in several compromising positions) and talking about Her experiences as a Domme and about the characteristics of some of Her subs. Candidly, i wasn't sure how i felt about the fact that this Woman was looking at gifs of my erect cock right in front of me.

This type of activity will have to slow down very soon, but we again went back into a private room. This time, i was just being dominated from the start. The dancer had at least heard of the concept of a humiliatrix and really seemed interested to learn more about that and wanted to learn from Goddess D. i've made it clear many times that there are certain things about that i'm really not very enthusiastic about. Just my luck, many of those things are what Princess Sheridan really seems to enjoy. For example, i really do not enjoy public humiliation, nor am i into any kind of "sissy" subject matter. And i say that with a respect for all fetishes. These are just things i have a very low tolerance level for and to put it bluntly, i go soft pretty quickly the moment i'm subjected to it. The dancer of course wanted to incorporate both things into our session. Fortunately, it wasn't limited to that. As usual, i was more than willing to be the guinea pig even if i didn't love everything we did. There's always the fact that i'm being dominated by two beautiful Women to appreciate, so i just had to take it.

Starting out, both Goddess D and the dancer had me on the couch and were verbally humiliating me. Having a half naked Woman taunt me from a few inches away about how i'm not even allowed to fuck my Wife, let alone Her, was pretty intense. All the while both of them were aggressively grabbing my package and pretty much getting a real time gauge of my arousal level. Goddess D didn't hold back this time in getting especially nasty, to the point where i was uncomfortable with it because the door to the room is somewhat open, servers are coming and going, and these places do have cameras. That didn't stop Goddess D from trying to get Her feet into my face and even mouth, followed by an armpit in my face when she thought it might smell. At home these things can be arousing but truly it was freaking me out. The dancer seemed to have no issue with it and was nasty in Her own right in different ways, so it was all good i suppose.

One thing the dancer did while Goddess D had a firm grip on my package was to cover my mouth and nose with Her hands. This was borderline shocking to me because, how would She even think of that? Only possible explanation i can think of is She saw the gif on Goddess D's phone for the "Smother Torture" clip? Breath play is always something that has aroused me, so although this was a fairly tame act in the grand scheme of things, it was also a first to have a Woman other than Goddess D do this to me. Later, Goddess D  held my arms down and the dancer actually got up on the couch and smothered me with Her ass. Now that was mindblowing. She asked Goddess D if She was supposed to smother me and She of course said yes. Goddess grabbed me by the hair and pushed me in there further. Of all the things that happened in the back, that was the one that i just couldn't even believe. Never would i blame a dancer for considering that completely out of bounds. Had it ever happened without Goddess D there i'd have been concerned that a boundary would have been crossed. It's a fine line in these situations i guess. But wow, i really couldn't believe that happened. i was probably in there for at least a good 30 seconds. Goddess D followed up with a little bit of that of Her own, but She was wearing jeans. The dancer commented on Her own sarcastically about farting and seemed like She would have if She had one. Leave it to Goddess D to actually have one and to do it a few minutes later. They weren't holding anything back and had no reservations about talking about subjecting me to certain unpleasant bodily functions.

Throughout my time on the couch, i was slapped in the face, grabbed by the neck, kneed in the balls, and grabbed forcefully down below by both of them. Both Women were pretty in my face with various humiliating and degrading statements. Goddess D had no problem spitting into my mouth several times.

Now all of a sudden, the dancer decides She wants to step up the humiliation. She takes Her bra off and wants me to wear it. Oh boy. So i'm sitting there with Her bra over my t-shirt and she's making fun of my A-cups. Awesome. The bra stayed on for most of the rest of our time in there.

We had some drinks on the table with leftover ice. The dancer figures it would be a great idea to stuff that ice down my pants. At first i figured She'd go with one or two handfuls, but it just kept becoming more and more to the point where it was clear She wanted it all to melt there and make it look like i had just cum in my pants or something else. Weird feeling having a dancer pretty much pack my underwear with endless amounts of ice right in front of my Wife. It didn't even seem possible that much was in our drinks. On the last reach in there, she accidentally touched the head of my cock and acted like it was the nastiest thing ever and the end of the world. Pretty humorous actually, She asked Goddess D to pour alcohol on Her finger as if that would disinfect Her and make it better somehow. Once my package was sufficiently numb, she started grinding on me hard, the closest thing to a lapdance i experienced the entire time. She just wanted to make sure i couldn't sufficiently feel it with the ice i guess. Obviously, the ice was cold as hell and her sitting down on it like that pressed it in there harder, but it had to be cold for Her too. She was just wearing underwear and pretty much called me a pussy for reacting to the ice so much while She was pretty much unfazed by it. Her underwear had to be soaked by it too, but it was black so i guess not noticeable.

After grinding on me for a few minutes, things just got weird. Damnit, they're taking my belt off again, and that can't mean anything good. The dancer takes my belt, latches it around my neck like a leash and orders me down on all fours facing Her. Mind you, i'm still wearing Her bra. She pulls me by the leash and orders me to walk on all fours like a dog behind Her and joked about parading me around outside of the room in the more public area. Oh shit, i actually had to speak up and kind of point out that pretty much pushes a boundary. She really wanted to do it, so offered a compromise that i crawl to the door with Her and she open it so somebody can see. So that's what happened. I'm on all fours, belt around my neck, bra on, and She yells out at the servers to look at the spectacle. i couldn't even look out into that direction. Just kept my head turned back in towards the back wall of the room we were in and prayed the moment would pass. One of the servers must have acknowledged it and the door was closed again. Goddess D and the dancer kept talking about keeping me in a dog cage or something like that, i couldn't even believe what i was hearing. Who is this Woman? Around this time the bra fell off and i was out of the woods with that part of it too.

Next, the dancer ordered me to lay down on the ground flat on my stomach, and have no idea why. Goddess D took the belt, the dancer took her bra (which was less effective), and they just started whipping my ass over and over again. Goddess D's swats with the belt really hurt actually. There were so many of them and i was sweating at this point. i never expected to get worked over like this. As if that wasn't enough, the dancer took a pillow, put it over the back of my head and kneeled down on it while Goddess D just continued to wail on my ass with the belt.

We were only supposed to be there for a half an hour but my best guess is whoever was responsible for calling us out on that time decided they didn't want anything to do with the freaks in that room. i can almost envision a conversation amongst the employees about who was going in there to break it all up and they all just said "fuck it" let them go until the lights turn on and they have to close. i'm pretty sure it was at least 45 minutes.

While i was on the ground, Goddess D demonstrated some scissoring and the dancer tried it out a little bit Herself. Not a whole lot of fetishes were left untouched on this night. We then noticed that my knee was bleeding all over the floor. i must have scraped it on one of the tiles while crawling on the floor. The dancer pointed out how She lifts her knees up while dancing on the stage, apparently implying that i should know how to crawl around on the floor without injuring myself. i cleaned that up, and the lights went on not much later, signaling that it was time to go.

Of course, i now had to walk out into the parking lot wearing shorts with a huge wet spot, pretty much in disbelief of what just happened to me. As we left the room Goddess D and this dancer for the second time in a row couldn't stop talking to each other, to the point where we were getting yelled at by the bouncers to leave. It sounds like we're all going to get together in a more normal environment for lunch or dinner to discuss things further sometime soon. As i mentioned, i've spent a decent amount of time in strip clubs over the years. Never did i ever think anything like this was possible, nor was i seeking it (not even on this visit). It's clear to me that this dancer in particular just has a naturally dominant side that She never fully knew how to utilize. She was always very aggressive which probably drew me to Her in the first place, but after meeting Goddess D everything just went up several levels. There is a chain of crazy events happening here. It started with Princess Sheridan and Goddess D first interacting, and now all of that knowledge and attitude is being passed along again. Safe to say another Domme has been born.

An Unexpected Double Domme Experience

Goddess D and i have, as you may have noticed by now, a relationship that can be described as adventurous and a bit unconventional. This sometimes includes "adult" experiences that would not be acceptable for most couples. Like, for example, the fact that i am owned by Goddess D but also take orders from Princess Sheridan at times. These are the types of experiences that i have personally sought out, but would never be possible without Goddess D being extremely understanding and open minded about my sexual interests. She has not only embraced these interests but genuinely has fun exploring them with me, to the point where She has now become a full fledged Domme with other subs of Her own, and enjoys it. i'd even go so far to say it's way more about Her interests than my own at this point.

One other such "adult" experience that has been a part of our marriage at times is the occasional visit to strip clubs. Sometimes we go together, but there are times that i visit with friends as well. As this subject has been brought up with Princess Sheridan, it hasn't been met with much enthusiasm. i can understand how She might view my getting a dance from another Woman as a disloyal and disrespectful act to Her and Goddess D, and not very submissive in nature. i could probably write a whole separate blog post about my level of submissiveness and the things that i have enjoyed and not so much enjoyed about all of these sub experiences thus far, but i'll save that for another day. The point is, these visits are always an extension of my fantasies. If i do get dances from a Woman, i return to Goddess D and tell Her. She makes me pay the price in a variety of ways. She often gets turned on by it and most certainly i'm susceptible to an even worse case of blue balls than ever before, in addition to a bit of a physical beat down.

Princess Sheridan has made suggestions however about my visits to these clubs with Goddess D. She suggested that visiting with Goddess D while wearing my chastity cage would be a powerful demonstration of Her control over me. This is something that, frankly, neither one of us were ever comfortable with attempting. i have no idea how the average girl at such a club would react to a device like that and i'm nervous about ending up having an awkward interaction with such a girl or even worse, with security. i explained this to Princess Sheridan and She really didn't want to hear it. All along She thought it would be an amazing opportunity for us and insisted upon it, but we've never taken such a step to date.

In the past few weeks, i visited such an establishment where i ran into a Woman, more aggressive in nature than most, that i had some experiences with previously. i actually shared a bit of info about what Goddess D and i have been up to, particularly the part about going a long time without orgasm and chastity, and She really took an interest and seemed open to meeting Goddess D. We visited together a few days later and sure enough, this Woman and Goddess kind of hit it off. While She paid a lot of attention to me on my previous visit, this time She just went straight to Goddess D and spent the entire time on Her lap while i was kind of an afterthought. As a matter of fact Goddess D in the first minute told Her to call me a loser, and She did so immediately. This was shaping up to be something quite new and i was getting a little nervous.

After a few drinks and some time getting to know each other, the idea of the three of us getting a private room came up. This isn't usually something i like to do. It obviously can get expensive, but to me this was a potential "once in a lifetime" type of experience and we went for it. This dancer really wanted to learn a few things from Goddess D about being a Domme.

The time in the back started out tame enough. Goddess D did take off Her shirt and at least early on, the Woman kind of ran with things, wanting me to double up on Goddess D with Her and make Her feel good. Probably a common approach She takes when giving dances to a couple. Before long though, once I was the one seated, things got pretty wild. i expected maybe to get danced on, possibly taunted for not having cum in so long, etc. But this ended up being nothing of the sort. Things got extremely physical. i can't even recall how it got to this point but before long Goddess D was holding my arms while the other Woman was encouraged to smack me in the balls. It hurt like hell of course, as i can't really take much of that very easily. Still, i was wearing jeans and that provided enough protection for it to be somewhat bearable, and i started to get hard. The Woman noticed that i was getting hard and the position of my dick and pretty much pointed it out to Goddess D, and they both started wailing on it harder. Goddess D then held my arms again and told Her to bite it. That was a new one but yes, Goddess held my arms while a stripper sunk Her teeth into my manhood over the jeans. Unreal. Next they removed my belt and had me on all fours. Goddess D observed while this Woman smacked me in the ass with the belt. This was surely something She's done to the bachelor for bachelor parties, so i wasn't as surprised about this, that is until she kicked me in the ass knocking me to the floor when She was done. Almost forgot also that somewhere in the middle of all of this, the two of them were making out right in front of me. Not a cliche male fantasy or anything right? Obviously i'm a lucky man. Once back on the couch, time was finally up and one of the bouncers came in to tell us it was time to go. We were rowdy, so i immediately stood up not wanting to get in trouble. This Woman's instinct took over and right in front of this guy, she kicked me square in the gut, right back onto the couch!

After all of this, the dancer insisted on getting Goddess D's phone number and sharing some contact information. She seemed excited about the possibility of my visiting again but with the chastity device on, so if that can be prearranged when we know She'll be there, maybe it will happen. After all of that back-and-forth with Princess and my hesitancy, She was quick to say "I told you so". It was a matter of working out the details, but perhaps i shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss Her ideas. Don't get me wrong, i loved Her ideas, but just couldn't see any practical way to make it happen. Suddenly, there are a few "in person" double Domme possibilities developing. Maybe they make their way to the clip store, but probably not. Still very fun to think about the possibilities!

New Experiences, New Opportunities

In my last post i expressed confidence that i'd be posting more often, and yet here we are almost a month later with this being my first new post. So many amazing things are happening in terms of a whole world continuing to open up for us. D is hearing from new people through email and Twitter all the time, and as one would expect the spectrum is wide. Some people just wasting Her time, others are providing positive feedback on clips, some are going so far as to become Her online subs, and there's even a case of another couple similar to us kind of reaching out and trying to be more adventurous in their own relationship. That last one in particular is especially cool to me. Much in the way Princess Sheridan reached out to Goddess D and acted as a mentor to Her with this subject matter, Goddess D is now conversing with a woman and having productive conversations. At a minimum they can share feelings and experiences and sort of compare notes with each other, and best case what we're doing in our clips maybe provides some ideas they'll use in their own relationship.

D and i of course use a lot of discretion in the way we interact with people, careful to protect our identities and respect the privacy of those we interact with as well. That being said, now that D has a successful clip store and is at least in some small way a part of this industry, we've had interaction with a few other established Dommes, most notably Princess Sheridan of course, who got this entire ball rolling by expressing interest in speaking with Goddess D. None of this would have been possible or nearly as successful without Her influence. Conversations with other Dommes have been discussion only, more of a learning and networking thing than anything else. A lot of great advice has been shared with us when it comes to shooting clips, managing a clip store, etc. It's crazy to say but some of these Dommes have even suggested (perhaps just being nice) the possibility of shooting with D at some point in our travels. Admittedly, that seems like a significant leap right now. Make no mistake that we're still total amateurs at this, lacking the equipment and expertise to even come close to the levels of quality seen in some of the better established stores. Regardless, even an opportunity to meet up for lunch or drinks with some people who are well established in the industry is kind of cool to think about and may very well happen at some point. It's weird to go from being a general fan and distant observer to being kind of embedded in this world. The clip store, to my surprise, is continuing to succeed at a level beyond expected.

The chemistry between D and i continues to evolve now that we're so much more in the public eye. Sometimes we are both so busy things feel the way they used to feel., but other times i come home and unexpectedly am ordered to kiss Her feet for a rather long amount of time. She's always very careful to make sure i know my place with such reminders. When it comes to the on camera stuff, to be honest i don't know how much more i can take. Physically, i feel the effects of what She's done to me every single day. At this point i'm always on edge having not experienced a full orgasm in 166 days. She makes me look into Her eyes as she coldly explains that basically there's no end in sight, that i have every reason to be worried. Intense as hell without a doubt, but wow i really do strongly desire some relief at this point and it feels completely hopeless.

In one recent development, i do have a new chastity cage. The ring on the previous one broke and although we did pick up the replacement part, it was a good opportunity to try something different. We went with the Holy Trainer device which, when combined with an accessory called the "guardian", fits so much more comfortably. This one really forces any erection straight down and just seems more effective. It has me feeling more owned than ever.

To conclude, this all continues to be a whirlwind. It seems impossible at times to keep up with real life and all it can throw at us, in addition to editing responsibilities that take up a significant amount of time. D of course is more consumed with Her subs and there are many times there just aren't enough hours in the day. Not going to lie, but sometimes it's so hyper busy that it's a challenge to enjoy all of this as much as we'd both like. Hopefully some things slow down so we can stay in the groove!

142 Days and Counting

Been a crazy busy last month, but i hope to check in more often now. One thing that hasn't changed in all that time is the fact that i'm still forbidden to have a pleasurable orgasm, and it's really getting to me now. When i'm taken out of chastity and edged or allowed to edge, the next day is so extremely uncomfortable. i'm not sure if anybody else has had an experience like this before, but i feel like sometimes the simplest friction, even normal friction with my underwear, could cause me to erupt at any moment. i really don't know if this is possible or not but the sensation is scary, especially when i'm not at home.

It's really not a matter of being backed up, as i've been given several ruined orgasms by now. But anyone who has endured ruined orgasms surely knows that they're called ruined for a reason if done properly. There's no pleasure, only more frustration. Truly though i had no idea that this is how the body would react over this amount of time. Goddess D doesn't seem very sympathetic. If anything She seems to want to demonstrate just how little She cares every chance She gets. When i started day 1 in chastity way back in November, i expected no more than a month, and i didn't know She was going to put me in chastity at all. To go from daily orgasms to none like this has been a true test.

i do miss the days that i could get off with Goddess D any time i wanted. She reminds me of that all the time. i also miss being able to watch fetish clips and get off to them. It's crazy for example to think about how much money has been spent on Princess Sheridan's clips and the fact that not even once have i been able to get off to any of them. i discovered Princess Sheridan when in chastity, and 4 months later i'm still in chastity. Goddess D seems to show some mercy at times to other subs but with me, She's talking years and i can't tell if She's completely serious or not. It's way more than i bargained for and Her power over me is so very real! i'm very lucky in so many ways, but wow is this a challenge.

A lot happened today and i'm sure most of it will end up in the clip store. In one case, Goddess D had what had to be the loudest orgasm of Her life. She made Me put my tongue in Her ass the entire time and edged me throughout the session. Then right back in chastity when it was all over. Walking around after that was physically painful. It felt like each of my balls weighed 10 pounds! For my sake i just hope i can get through the work week without too much discomfort, but i'm definitely not holding my breath.

Speaking of holding my breath, Goddess played a smothering facesitting game with me today. Long story short i had to hold my breath for up to 2 minutes at times and when i failed i was punched in the gut!

i guess She was making up for lost time today but when it was all over, i felt dizzy in the head, both from lack of oxygen and all the blood running down to my cock from the relentless teasing. There should be a bit more time for these activities now, so i guess i had better be ready for anything!

Dommes Can Be Real People with Real Ethical Values

Yeah, weird title for a blog post i guess, but i was on a bit of a different wavelength today. Many of us probably were with the horrific news of what's going on in Europe. While my life has been an amazing rollercoaster ride filled with Femdom excitement of late, it doesn't seem constructive to blog about that all the time. The clips that have been released have been a pretty solid representation of it anyway. With so much more of our activities public, i almost don't know what to do with this blog lately.

Anyway, back to the subject line. i think that far too often there's a misconception that being a Domme means being a man-hating bitch that wants nothing more than to suck up cash by any means necessary, to wreck marriages without a care and move on to the next poor sucker, ignorant to anything else that's going on in the world. It's always going to be a fine line. But to me there's no ethical struggle if a man voluntarily enters into an arrangement with a Domme and gets in over his head. The Domme didn't make him do that any more than a bartender made somebody an alcoholic or a poker player is at fault for taking their opponent's money. Now, do unethical people exist in the industry in some proportion? i'm sure they do. But it's probably no more common in the world of Femdom than the occasional bad apple that may exist in any more mainstream population. If you take the time to get to know people in this community, most Dommes (and subs) are really quite normal people. i wish more people understood this and acted accordingly.

Not that i needed reminding, but i was reminded of this when i woke up this morning and saw the horrible news out of Belgium and looked at my Twitter feed. Princess Sheridan was one of many Dommes i observed Tweeting not about the usual subject matter or promoting a clip, but instead expressing the very same frustration and outrage that any of us with a heart would feel. i immediately thought of Yuri, one of Her most loyal subs who lives in the general region and reached out to him with concern for his friends and family, as this certainly hit close to home for him. Fortunately his friends and family are safe. The overall point is that despite all of the crazy interactions, the humiliating tasks and demands, this is all mutual interaction and at the core of it there's an unspoken respect. i don't need to know every last thing about a Domme to recognize that She adheres to a solid code of ethics and can be trusted. i'm proud to know people with that kind of character in all walks of my life, including and especially in the BDSM community. If you take the time to get to know many of these people you'll find that they are extremely thoughtful and even more "normal" and respectful than those you may come across in mainstream interactions. i've only been in contact with Princess Sheridan and some of Her subs for a few months at this point, but it doesn't take long to figure out that these are good people. i mean, yeah, Princess seems to take great delight in seeing me get my ass fucked, paddled to the point of tears, and making me humiliate myself in any way that might please Her. But i can see beyond all that. :)

It's funny because when i think back to my original interactions with Princess Sheridan after i ordered the first custom from Her, when She first asked whether my situation with my Wife was real and showed interest in talking to Her, my initial reaction was indeed one of caution. Just in case She really was one of those Dommes looking to play out some kind of unethical blackmail/homewrecker scenario out on me! Her response said it all and i was immediately comfortable:

Homewrecker? LOL! I wouldn't dream of fucking up what you have. I wish all My subbies have what you have. When the time comes I would love to talk to your much much better half. Just us... not you. Of course you'll find out about what we talk about at the opportune moment :p I hope this gets this far eventually. All up to you.

i probably don't need to elaborate on how awesome that was and why Princess Sheridan is just amazing. "From Fantasy to Reality" in Her clip store is the culmination of all of this. Who knew? She didn't have to do that. i certainly didn't directly ask for it. But three months later, here we are. i mean seriously look at where we freaking are lol. This has all been beyond belief.

Clearly, in order for a Domme to be a Domme, image is important. If every Domme just shared their philosophies and real feelings all the time and didn't post sexy pics and talk down to their subbies, there would be no business. That said, i can honestly say that the most rewarding interactions i've had with any Domme have just involved speaking with them on a more real, intelligent level and getting to know the real person a bit more outside of just the fetishes and kinks. When that connection is made, it's a lot sexier to share Domme/sub experiences from there. To me there's nothing sexier than a Woman getting into an intelligent man's head and then using that knowledge and Her sexuality to make him stupid. :) It's certainly worked with my Wife Goddess D, and it works with Princess Sheridan,

A Domme's life is just so much more fascinating than most random acquaintances. Even if i'm not on the receiving end and actually being dominated, i love sharing all the stories and experiences with people in the community we have connected with, and i feel like we're just barely scratching the surface!

As things develop further between Goddess D and i and this clip store, Princess Sheridan continues to be at the forefront as an influence. Every day Goddess is more and more capable, but we still both so very much appreciate all that Princess brings to the table as a mentor to Goddess D and as a Domme to me. It's actually become pretty clear that much of what Princess finds entertaining is not very compatible with most of my Femdom-related interests. But honestly it doesn't even matter. i would be a freaking idiot to not recognize what a great situation this is. Even if certain things are unpleasant, i'm being forced to do unpleasant things for two incredibly attractive Dommes, and that in itself is a dream come true!

Enough babbling for one night though. i'll leave you with a pic from an upcoming clip that seems to be one of Goddess D's more popular ones on Twitter lately. i was desperate for air but yet in heaven at the same time. Such conflicting feelings!

Clip Store Craziness

Sorry for the big layoff on the blog for anybody who's been checking in. i assume that anyone reading this blog is very likely already following Goddess D on Twitter, so it's no big secret what's been happening. Everything that has been happening as i serve Goddess D is remaining largely the same, but now all of a sudden there's the additional effort to basically film anything that happens. Even if no good content comes from it, just about every time Goddess decides to torture me in the bedroom, the webcam is up and running.

Often, there isn't even any intent to film anything and the mood strikes Goddess D to do something crazy to me. The store opened less than 4 days ago and there are already clips in so many categories. She's done a POV clip, She's spit in my mouth, violated my ass, whipped and paddled me, farted in my face audibly twice, facesat me relentlessly (in and out of chastity), and one of the few times She had me out of chastity, She delivered one of the most agonizing ruined orgasms i've ever experienced. In case you haven't seen it, this gif tells the story.

i didn't know for sure that this was what Goddess was going to do to me, but once She did and i got over the initial wave of frustration, i was just thinking wow, i'd buy that clip. There are still times that i wonder what got into Her. The way She taunts me in this clip while that single drop slowly makes its appearance is so evil. You can hear the excitement in Her voice. You just can't fake that kind of fun, all at my expense. It's so humiliating and so real and i may never get any relief from Her torture. Any time i play one of these clips back and listen to Her laughing or see the genuine smile on Her face, it sinks in just how much trouble i'm in. This is life now.

One thing that i am finding a little disturbing, though i guess i'll have to get over it, is having what used to be an extremely private part of my body on display like that. Strangely enough it didn't bother me much when in chastity, but let's just say it's an adjustment. Fortunately, Goddess D's presence is able to compensate for that thing being on camera (i hope most would agree).

Anyway, i made it a point to tell Princess Sheridan that i now have an even greater respect for the hard work She puts into Her stores. Goddess does the dominating, but the responsibilities of editing clips goes primarily to me. Goddess of course tells me what She wants. It was Her idea for example on the "Introducing Goddess D" clip to insert little snips of Her doing things to me as She talked about them in the POV clip. Brilliant idea by the way as i thought that clip came out really well. Princess also seems very impressed with the way Goddess has taken to this. She really does sound like a pro Domme. It's clear this was in there all along but it's to a whole new level now.

In order for a c4s store to be activated, there has to be at least 10 unique clips. Little did i know how much time it takes to edit each one and how long they take to upload! After a few days of struggling with the process, i was presented with something to contend with in that if everything wasn't up and running by the end of the day Thursday, the paddle might be a consequence. i do believe i got to bed at 5 AM that night! It's one thing to have the footage and descriptions ready. It's an entirely different thing to review the clips beginning to end to make sure faces aren't showing, to cut out certain unusable sections of clip, etc. So that's why there hasn't been any time to blog. Editing and then the fact that when sales started piling up this past weekend, Goddess just kept wanting to torture me more and more.

The sales results have been interesting early on. Apparently, there's quite a market for farting out there! i guess i'll take that over being paddled, but there's probably going to be some nasty activities in the future as Goddess gets legitimate amusement out of humiliating me that way and to top it all off, those clips are apparently not all that easy to find and quite popular. A custom clip request on that topic is actually being discussed and could mean a rough go for me. The script asks Goddess to be even meaner to me than She already is! The ruined orgasm clip has been popular as well and anything with chastity. i can't say i'm disappointed that nobody has had too much interest in seeing my ass fucked so far! :) i'm not naive though. i know that won't protect me from having it happen again.

Another amazing thing is the Twitter reaction at times. There are too many Dommes to name, but Goddess has been liked and followed and retweeted by so many Dommes that we've been familiar with for a long time. It's crazy to see Goddess post a pic or gif from one of the clips and to see immediate likes from somebody like Ellie Idol or Ezada Sinn, just to name a few. One of the chastity clips and the ruined orgasm clip are climbing c4s leaderboards faster than either of us could've ever imagined! Even if short-lived, it's very cool to see. And of course, it's always an absolute privilege to get Princess Sheridan's seal of approval!

There are so many things i could go on and on about, but i'll have to save it for another day. Just had to check in and get a post in before any more time passed. i'll leave you with this devastatingly sexy picture of Goddess D, even if it happens to be devastatingly frustrating for me to view...

Intense Weekend

i mentioned in the last blog post that due to things being a little busy i was able to achieve a pretty relaxed mental state where i wasn't going completely crazy over going so long without a good orgasm. Well, let's just say i no longer feel that way. Right now it can be better described as a constant dull ache at day 96, largely the result of a crazy weekend. To summarize, there was a ruined orgasm one night; the next night involved being violated in the ass, cropped, flogged and paddled; and the next night teased, facesat and edged. Oh, and to top that all off, Goddess D started receiving some tributes and emails. From custom clip requests to keyholder inquiries to inquiries about buying Her stinky socks, i guess there was just a little bit of everything.

Off topic, i just realized that this blog recently reached 1,000 hits. i'm sure that's not all that significant a number and that a lot of those are repeat hits. Still, i can't help but be amazed at how many people from how many different countries have read about our exploits. Of course, Goddess D is the draw to this blog, as She should be, but still i'm flattered. To those who are reading along, please don't feel like you have to be a stranger. Goddess and i enjoy hearing from those with similar interests. It's not like it's easy to talk about this subject matter at the local coffee shop with casual acquaintances. :) Anyway, on to this weekend's activities:

Friday

There are certain things about our ongoing experiences that i still find very surreal. One of those things is realizing just how immersed Goddess D has become in this lifestyle. When Goddess first set up Her Twitter account at Princess Sheridan's request a few months back, She initially followed Princess Sheridan and i of course, but after a little bit of time it made sense for Her to follow some more people. Logically it made sense early on for Her to follow a lot of the Dommes that i was following. It's no secret that over the years i've purchased a decent number of Femdom fetish clips and Goddess D was already somewhat familiar with many of these Dommes as She's seen many of the clips. She was unfamiliar with Twitter early on, but is now pretty comfortable on there, finding interesting people to follow on Her own and even interacting with some of them on occasion.

That is what leads me to the surreal part. I checked my Twitter when i got off work and saw a few light-hearted Tweets between Goddess D and one of those Dommes. It wasn't anything crazy, Goddess was basically just complimenting one of Her pictures or something, but still it kind of made me think about how far things have come along. It's such a little thing in the big picture but if you had told me months back that my Wife would be casually conversing with Dommes on Twitter, it wouldn't have been believable. By now, Goddess is following enough people that She doesn't even recall whose clips She's seen and usually doesn't make the connection even if She's looking at the Twitter page of a Domme She's seen before. This case was no different. Of course, being a perverted male, i had no such difficulty recalling some of the clips that Domme had produced.

For what it's worth, Goddess D commented on a picture that Sarah Diavola had Tweeted. When i arrived at home and eventually had a chance to converse with Her, i mentioned that i saw the conversation and that i thought it was so crazy how in the past we might have watched a fetish clip in the bedroom together, and now everything is on such a different level that She feels comfortable talking to these Women basically as peers. She pretty easily recognized that this was a turn-on for me as well and it didn't take Her long to have some fun with it.

It just so happens that i have a few of Sarah's ruined orgasm clips and pointed that out to Goddess D. Like i said, She didn't make the connection at first. But then curiosity got the best of Her and before long one of them was playing on the bedroom TV and not long after that i was chained to the bed. For anybody not familiar with Sarah, She's definitely got quite the mean streak and is more than capable of delivering a verbal lashing in any of Her clips (not unlike another Domme we've come to know very well!). i'm always trying to better explore and understand my kinks, but one thing i know for sure is that the verbals are absolutely critical. Visuals can go a long way, but combined with the right words, i just fall deep into submission. It's not hard to figure out where this goes. The clips are POV but Sarah really is jerking a slave from that angle. We actually watched two of those clips and both times She was mean throughout and pretty clear that all the guy was going to get was a ruined orgasm. By the end of the second clip after Goddess had edged me for a solid half hour, and i was shuddering. Probably the longest i had ever been edged continuously and when Sarah ruined that second slave's orgasm, Goddess D ruined mine within a matter of seconds. So unbelievably frustrating, but such an intense experience. i remained hard for quite a while, but eventually was put away right back into my chastity cage.

Saturday

As if Friday wasn't enough, Saturday was even more intense. i knew this was a day i was going to kind of dread. Why, you might ask? Well, if you recall not long ago Princess Sheridan made a few custom clips for Goddess D, the second of which involved Her violating my ass with Her finger for the first time ever all while being verbally berated by Princess, all followed by a paddling. It was painful all around.. We didn't have the HD webcam at that point, nor had we shared much of any footage with Princess Sheridan. We really were kind of late to the game when it came to actually filming ourselves, but i think once Princess realized we were open to taking video, She requested that we "re-enact" the scene so She could use some of the footage for Her clip.

Which reminds me... i do believe in my last blog post i mentioned how much i love Princess Sheridan's way with words. When we were unable to film one weekend i made a comment to Princess that She was welcome to know more about our schedules if it helped Her plan out the timing for working on the clip. She responded with this doozy...

Is it weird that this made me smile? Yeah, i guess it is. i just can't help but love Her ability to drop a message like this at pretty much any time. It almost made me feel better about the fact that i was going to get my ass fucked again. Almost.

Well, on to the ass fucking. Damn, this was uncomfortable. Goddess this time took it up a notch. She had me lay face down on the bed, stomach on a pillow so i wasn't completely crushing the chastity device, and then cuffed my hands to the headboard and my legs to the foot of the bed. There was going to be no escaping this one even if i tried. Goddess filmed all of the cuffing exercise, then started playing Princess Sheridan's custom clip again. Before you know it, there's a finger in my ass. As if that wasn't enough, She eventually worked a dildo in there. My ass felt weird for the next few days. i can't say this was pleasurable for me. The only pleasure came from knowing that Goddess D was having fun and that Princess Sheridan was probably going to very much enjoy watching this torture. Here's an embarrassing photo from the ordeal...

That clip ran for 17 minutes. Something was in my ass for about 14 of it. Argh.

So we're done right? Nope. Time to get cropped, flogged and paddled. New clip. Ten times with each item. The crop was somewhat tolerable. The flogger was more difficult to deal with and Goddess marked up my body from legs to upper back. But that damn paddle, omg does it hurt. By the 6th swat i was almost crying and on the verge of begging Goddess to stop. She slowed down a little bit to as to avoid that situation, and eventually we got to 10. But ouch. Sure, i guess i'm a huge pussy about this. But you can't look at this screen grab and tell me that i didn't take some kind of beating!

Princess was happy with this clip as well, 10 minutes in length, although She always seems to want more:

That's because of my uncontrollable screaming from the pain i suppose. A gag would control that somewhat. i swear i'd take 30 swats from the flogger before 10 from the paddle. It's just awful.

When this was done, i just put my head down a broken mess, so relieved that it was over. Princess received the footage late that night and to my amazement as late as it was seemed to watch just about all of it. i found the footage embarrassing. She must have really found it entertaining!

Sunday

On Sunday, we filmed a few more bedroom scenes. Some edging. Some facesitting. Goddess D definitely teased the camera some and had some things to say. Every time we had something exciting going though, i swear our dog (normally pretty mild mannered) messed it up by barging into the room or barking for seemingly no reason. That was enough to kill the mood. We'll go back through the footage at some point as some of it was pretty good.

Regardless, that wasn't the most interesting happening of the day. As i said above, and as i eluded to in the last blog post, Goddess has started drawing interest from potential subs. i have no idea how much of it will materialize into anything, but there was no shortage of interested men this past weekend. Suddenly, She may be filming Her first custom POV clip soon. A few subs have inquired about Her being their keyholder. There was even an inquiry about whether She would sell Her used stinky socks. All of this was pretty overwhelming to Her at first, but exciting. This is where i'm very happy that Princess Sheridan is in Goddess D's corner and is such an amazing mentor to Her. i find the business fascinating but i have no idea how Goddess should handle some of this stuff. Princess seemed to calmly point out to Goddess that She's a Domme and can do whatever She wants. If it's worth Her time to send out stinky socks for a certain price then She will. If not, She won't. Same goes for any custom video, virtual keyholder, or any other request. Early on though, She does seem to love the attention. With that will come some bullshit as well i'm sure, but it comes with the territory.

In summary, needless to say we'll have to get a clip store running. Goddess just posted a poll asking what kind of material people would like to see. She'll do whatever She feels like doing of course, but if i work up the courage i suppose the clips referenced in this post might see the light of day. From the poll results so far, it seems like there's interest across the entire spectrum of Femdom activities. There's still no real timeline on this but a store may be up sooner rather than later. We're just taking it one day at a time. And that reminds me that i'm only a few days away from day 100 straight without a pleasurable orgasm. Why do i get the feeling that Goddess D is going to have some fun with that at my expense?

Goddess D's Continuing Evolution

Princess Sheridan has said a lot of things to me over the past few months, as i'm sure She has to all of Her owned subs. Some of Her words embarrass or humiliate me. Some of them scare me. Some of them excite me. Some of them make me marvel at Her way with words and their delivery. Many of them do all of the above. And then sometimes She says things, usually in reference to Goddess D, that i really have a hard time believing in that moment. Yet weeks later i look back on it and i see exactly what She said coming to fruition.

The most obvious such comment was early on when She basically asked if i could handle the changes in Goddess D, that She was playing then but eventually i would find myself married to an actual Domme. To be honest i took that with a grain of salt. i was having fun, but i really didn't see that same vision. Goddess D and i have been together for so long. Was that kind of change really possible? Well, i see it now.

Another statement, shortly after Princess Sheridan generously invited Goddess D to play with some of Her subs, was that just like i am one of many to Princess, the same is now true of my relationship to Goddess D. i guess i really didn't see that happening on any kind of significant scale either, but suddenly i see that Goddess is having genuine fun with this. Unfortunately for Yuri, that trend seems to be continuing. i hear from Goddess D often enough about some high level conversations She has with Yuri, but then i see the screen shots with the specific conversations posted in his blog and i'm just sort of blown away. Where is this coming from? Yuri and i definitely have some of the same fetishes, and as a result i do think Goddess is especially skilled at torturing him, but i'm most astounded by how much genuine enjoyment She gets out of it and how excited She is about the prospect of having multiple subs to amuse Her.

Goddess is now getting more attention on Twitter as She gains more and more followers and seems likely to take on new interactions if She's spoiled and entertained enough. i can't sit here and tell you what things will look like in six months or a year, but i do have to guess very different than they are today! it'll be really interesting to see how things evolve. As men become infatuated with Goddess on Twitter, She's started to require tributes for the privilege of Her attention (Princess Sheridan's owned subs excluded of course). Pictures like this certainly do cause such swooning reactions from men:

i can tell Goddess D feels empowered by the attention, and if there's any curiosity as to my feelings about Her taking on these types of interactions, i'm completely secure with it. She deserves to be worshipped and spoiled as much as possible! i'm just lucky to have the privilege of serving her directly in person. Very, very, very lucky. Princess reminds me of that all the time and there's always something amazing about hearing another gorgeous Domme compliment my wife in that manner. i do not take any of this for granted. i feel like i'm one of the luckiest men in the world on so many different levels.

Goddess seems ready to torture me at almost any time and now that our new webcam has arrived, i'm already very concerned about what's ahead. i'm excited, but i'm concerned based on some of what has happened to me already. Even if Goddess wanted to take it easy on me, and She doesn't, Princess is planting new ideas in Her head all the time! One of my nicknames that came from Princess early on was "dummy." There's no doubt i'll be used as Goddess D's personal dummy in front of the camera for hours at a time with plenty of input from Princess Sheridan. It really is a very helpless feeling especially after being prevented orgasm for close to 90 days now.

Surprisingly, while i'm definitely desperate for orgasm, being a little busy over the last week has kept my mind off it enough where i don't feel like i'm going completely insane. That could change at the drop of a dime however. i do seem to go through cycles where sometimes i'm extremely horny and other times i'm just resigned to the fact that my cock is locked away and i can be somewhat chill about it. Regardless of which phase i'm in, i'm always thinking about all of what is happening and this surreal life i'm living. i always look forward to my next interactions with Goddess D and Princess Sheridan. It's like a game of chess that i can never really win, but i love the intellectual challenge all the same and can't get enough!

Putting Some Boundaries to the Test

As i mentioned in my last post, i knew there were some toys coming in the mail and that there was definitely going to be some pain in my near future. i was at least somewhat mentally prepared for the paddle and whips that were on the way. i wish i was as well prepared for everything else that was going to happen. In hindsight i'm not sure how i didn't see this coming.

More than a week ago Goddess D after speaking with Princess Sheridan asked me a few questions about my limits. One of those questions related to the idea of a prostate milking and basically, whether or not that was a hard limit for me. That question kind of froze me. Using the scale i presented before where 1 = no way and 10 = exciting to the max, this idea registered about a 2. When i see stuff on the internet involving a guy in chastity being forced into ruined orgasms that way, or even getting pegged, there's definitely a part of me that sees the appeal strictly due to the level of control the Domme has and his helpless predicament. It's certainly a humiliating act. Yet, i've never had any kind of real desire to experience that myself. Around the time Goddess first asked, She didn't really care all that much if it was something i wanted. She just wanted to know if i would give my consent. i reluctantly did as generally i'm willing to do anything i can for Goddess D and Princess Sheridan if it makes Them happy and i think i can handle it. Goddess had me under the impression it was going to happen soon. Well, it didn't happen that weekend, and then after the recent ruined orgasm i kind of figured it might not happen at all. i kind of relaxed on that topic and mistakenly assumed that it was off the table for the time being.

Once Saturday came around this past weekend, i slowly picked up on some details that had me a little nervous. Goddess D made it pretty clear that i should be nervous, as the second part of the custom clip Princess Sheridan filmed for Goddess D was ready. The first part of the clip was for Goddess D's viewing only, giving Her instructions on how to treat me around the house, including subjects such as how to behave in public (always getting doors, walking behind Goddess, carrying Her bags, etc) as well as how She should treat me in the house (subbie meals, fetching things for Goddess, cleaning and anything else She could ever desire). i finally had a chance to see this clip, which also included a section where Princess addressed me directly about what was expected of me. As you could probably guess, Princess was extremely complimentary of Goddess D while pretty dismissive of me. It was definitely interesting to see the clip that communicated some early ideas to Goddess D, a great influence on how i've been treated by Goddess since.

Before we watched the second clip, Goddess D laid out some items on the bed. This included the paddle that had just arrived, a crop, and a glove. She started the clip on the big TV in our bedroom and it wasn't long before Princess Sheridan, looking extremely sexy as always in Her catsuit, was providing instructions for Goddess D on what She should do to me. Almost right away, i was laying down facing forward on the bed in chastity while i listened to Princess instruct Goddess to put on Her glove, lube up my ass and basically to get Her middle finger in there. Things got pretty real pretty fast. This clip ran over 10 minutes and for that entire duration, Goddess D was playing around in there, taking great delight in humiliating me in that manner. Meanwhile, i listened to Princess Sheridan tell me that this was what sex was going to be like from now on, that Goddess D doesn't need me to get Hers. Princess also expressed Her attraction for Goddess D while commenting on how the two of Them could use strap-ons on each other while basically discarding my pathetic self. i listened to all of this, for 10 minutes, laid out forward on the bed with a finger and eventually two fingers, in my ass. It's honestly embarrassing to even type these details. Princess also asked Goddess to spit in my mouth and in my face during the clip, and She gladly obliged. The physical abuse i endured was intense, but it's always the words that get to me the most in a situation like this. i get harder in my cage listening to Goddess D or Princess Sheridan reminding me of my hopeless chastity situation or degrading me in some other manner than anything else.

The clip ended with some words that were likely added as a late edit, as Princess had heard that the paddle arrived that day. Those words instructed Goddess D to go ahead and try out those new toys on me. i didn't really get any breaks. Instead i ended up with multiple whacks with this paddle from Goddess...

That thing may not look like much, but wow did it hurt. Goddess D wasn't even going that hard on me and each smack made my ass redder. By the time She got to whack #10 i was broken out in a sweat and hoping for it to stop. Goddess D had the cam running on this one and i forwarded the clip to Princess Sheridan later in the evening. She called me a pussy, and rightfully so as i could hardly take any of it without screaming. She did seem to love hearing Goddess D's laughter throughout though. i do believe that was the first time Princess Sheridan had a chance to see Goddess D in action, so that was kind of a special moment. :) Hopefully my screams didn't get in the way of it too much.

Prior to Saturday, i had never experienced any kind of anal play nor had i experienced much in the way of whipping or spanking. This will definitely serve as a deterrent should i step out of line in the future, as it was extremely painful to me despite the fact that i probably took a fraction of what many men can handle.

The more i've interacted with Goddess D over the last several days, the more i'm realizing just how very fucked i am. The whole thing is a complete mindfuck. She's merciless and She's enjoying it. She's not bullshitting me about it any more (She used to, back in the day). When She says she doesn't give a fuck about my orgasms She means it. When She says She wants to get off on my pain She means it. i generally read people very well and what i'm reading in Goddess D is scary. With the right push from Princess Sheridan, Goddess D has absolutely evolved into a sadist. She wants this without a doubt and that has turned my previous fantasies into what is now a reality. It's extremely sexy to me of course, but never in my life did i think i'd actually be in a position to be owned like this for real.

Even today, after being put back into my chastity cage, on a Monday night, Goddess chained me to the bed to fuck with me. She put on one of the bra and panties sets i bought Her on the shopping trip, pried my mouth open wide and dropped spit into it from way above multiple times. She buried my face in Her pussy and ass while my cock hopelessly pressed against its cage. About 45 minutes of the evening was just taken for purposes of torturing me, and She intends on making that a more regular occurrence. The few times She's tortured me this way when out of my cage, it has been nearly impossible to get me back in. And not because i'm hard, but simply because my balls are so swollen from it that it's difficult to get the ring around them.

Anyway, i don't need any more convincing. i know i'm pretty much in for it now and i have nobody to blame but myself. i've been all about exploring my fantasies for a long time and have been very open with Goddess D about those fantasies. i've definitely wanted to be sexually adventurous over the years in a variety of ways and we've certainly had our fair share of fun experiences. i always just figured we'd try something here, try something there, but nothing would really change in our day-to-day lives. Little did i know it at the time, but that all went out the window the day i decided to contact Princess Sheridan. i had no idea what i was stepping into and there is no escaping this tangled web now.

If following on along Twitter, i'm sure you've noticed more in the way of footage from some of our interactions taken by a low quality webcam, including some recent gifs. While these clips were taken more for the purposes of capturing screen shots and for our own personal viewing, some of them have been sexy enough that we may now be inspired to take it a step further. It sounds like Princess Sheridan has some interest in using some of our footage in Her clips based on what Goddess D has relayed to me. i have no idea the extent to which She'd want to do that but it of course would be an absolute honor.

We went ahead and ordered an HD webcam yesterday, so once that arrives we may be filming some more footage. Whatever gets filmed will pretty much be beyond my control. i consent to it of course but am not lying when i tell you that i'm extremely uneasy about the various ways i can look forward to being humiliated on video.

In a previous post i did mention the moment that Goddess D unexpectedly blasted a fart in my face with not a care in the world for my reaction and laughed about it. Well here's the exact moment it happened in a gif...

After Goddess D interacted with Yuri a bit about this on Twitter, and realizing that this spoke directly to one of his fetishes, Goddess shared the actual video clip with him. Yuri can correct me if i'm wrong of course but i do believe the clip received a rave review. :)

i really have no idea where this filming will go in the future but who knows, if the demand exists maybe we'll at some point get a little clip store set up and Goddess D could use any proceeds for whatever She desires. Probably nothing imminent though. We definitely can't show our faces and there would be a limited amount of interest. At the same time, Goddess doesn't really have any remorse for what She does to me so that could be a compensating factor!

i'm at over 80 days now without a pleasurable orgasm. i fully realize at this point that there's probably no way this will end at anything less than 100. i just can't help but wonder what the future holds. There isn't much indication that any mercy is imminent. It's so frustrating, yet so sexy.

Ruined Orgasm, Saran Wrap, Who Knows What's Next...

This past weekend was another eventful one with Goddess D. As you can see by the title, it actually involved a ruined orgasm, and one that was unexpected at that.

What led up to it really wasn't all that notable compared to what has been described in other posts. It was early on Saturday and we were just waking up. Goddess as She often does decided it was time to play and She cuffed me to the bed and took me out of my cage. She edges me often this way to get Herself off with the intention of denying me completely of course. The 70+ days denied and regular teasing and edging sessions with Goddess D, clips from Princess Sheridan and all of the other stimuli finally took a toll. While Goddess was edging me i felt myself getting really close much faster than normal. Goddess instructed me to warn Her to stop if i was getting too close, and i did. It didn't even matter. She stopped stroking me and it just still kept building until a mess just started pouring out uncontrollably.

In the past, Goddess would have probably been slightly amused and thought little of this. After all, this was completely uncontrollable no matter how much i tried to hold it in. It was in this moment that i realized just how far She has come as a Domme, because wow did She go off on me. This was no longer about me at all. It was about the fact that She was in a good rhythm and my worthless cock erupting distracted that rhythm. She had to stop what She was doing to keep it from getting on our sheets and didn't appreciate it at all, loudly calling me a pathetic piece of shit or something along those lines, and she caught me completely off guard by actually smacking me in the dick. This was not my wife of the past! Not long after this was all over i'm pretty sure that Goddess was proud of herself for the way She went off on me and messaged Princess Sheridan to tell Her all about it. i'm treated like nothing more than a toy to be used for their amusement at times. (A dream come true, clearly!)

After this happened, it got me thinking about how best to describe the counter posted on this site. i'm in chastity the majority of the time, but we all know i'm out of chastity often enough. i decided that in order to not be too misleading it made sense to change the counter from "days in chastity" to "days without pleasurable orgasm". That count has now reached 75 days and probably will continue for the foreseeable future. Honestly, a big part of me definitely misses being able to have real orgasms! i have all these clips and amazing experiences at this point and can do nothing about it! Yet, being controlled in this way never stops being hot as hell. Goddess D has suggested more than once getting to day 100, ruining an orgasm (and filming it) and starting over. But that's not really starting over! The fact that She would go so far as to even hint that 3 ruined orgasms and no real ones in a year would be a possible plan has me aching in frustration and arousal!

You'd think that would be enough for a day, but nope. We took a break so we could handle some real world tasks, and later that evening it was time for Goddess D to get out the saran wrap and basically turn me into a mummy and then do whatever She wanted with me. This was surprisingly effective. It's one thing to be tied or cuffed but in this position i was especially helpless...

Since this was the first time Goddess D had ever restrained me this way, She didn't keep me this way overnight or anything, although that was initially the plan. It's amazing how hot and uncomfortable it gets laying like this for a while. Eventually i'm sure i'll have to just deal with it as She won't always be so kind and She'll probably do much nastier things to me and leave me to think about it all night.

This time though, it was more of an opportunity for Goddess D to play it up for the webcam and to converse with Princess Sheridan. Once i was wrapped up, Princess wanted to work with Goddess D on her Domme skills. When reading sissy's blog not long ago i saw that Princess actually role played as a sub for sissy at one point in order to allow him some practice as a Domme. So after reading that i had a pretty good sense that She was about to try the same out with Goddess D. Goddess laid the laptop down on my chest and sat on my face while typing furiously to Princess Sheridan for quite a while. i just laid there the entire time with Goddess ass in my face while they had fun role playing Domme/sub with each other. As they were winding down in their discussion, Goddess just slugged me in the stomach out of nowhere. Oh, that was Princess Sheridan saying hello. Goddess D had no problem sending that message along to me.

For the next hour, Goddess facesat me, spit in my mouth multiple times, lightly trampled me and just did whatever She wished. She then got out the scissors and cut away some of the saran wrap so She could pull my chastised cock out and play with that. She couldn't have done that soon enough because it was getting crushed with the laptop a bit and just really needed some air. This isn't a pretty sight at all and we wisely kept these pics off Twitter as a result, but you can see just how red i was down there after Goddess pulled me up through the plastic.

Oh, and of course Goddess had to get Her vibrator ready. She gets so excited while torturing me. More so now than ever before. As Princess Sheridan said, the power is intoxicating and sure enough, Goddess D is very much embracing and enjoying being a Domme.

                                      

Goddess rode me a bit, edged me, had an orgasm Herself and pretty much gave me a facial with it when She was done. Once again, just used as a toy and discarded.

                                     

When this was all over, there was probably a solid hour of footage taken on webcam and the audio came out very well. Just listening back to all that Goddess D was saying throughout that experience was crazy to me. i just can't imagine She would have ever sounded this way in the past. Furthermore we have never filmed any kind of bedroom interaction. i'm biased of course but this was honestly pretty damn hot!

One other recent development is that Princess Sheridan has provided me with a link to purchase a variety of whips, paddles, etc, and has informed me that Goddess D will be marking Her property. i submitted the order yesterday. i'm not sure if this was always in the plans or the result of anything specific i did to deserve it, but either way i'm kind of petrified on this one. This is one of those things i've never been really into but at the same time it doesn't cross a hard boundary for me. So i guess i'm just going to have to take it. i want to please Princess Sheridan and Goddess D of course and it's always an honor to submit to them.

i'm still very much adjusting to being a 24/7 sub. There are times that i worry i don't have all of the subbie qualities that Princess expects and even candidly admitted as much to Goddess D during a very open and honest conversation about all of the wonderful craziness that has been happening lately. The funny thing is i must have phrased my concerns poorly because Goddess D may have taken it as if i was considering quitting or something, which was NEVER the case. The beauty of it was Goddess' reaction though. She just basically said no, we're not quitting. She likes this too much is having too much fun and seems 100% determined to continue on. That's both amazing to me and scary at the same time. Three months ago, in my wildest dreams i couldn't have imagined a case where i would the one expressing concerns about being dominated while my Wife was the one all gung ho about it and wanting more!

Everything about this has been a welcome challenge. And believe me it is a challenge at times. One thing that i never anticipated would be all the different ways that Princess would challenge me to put Goddess D first and to consider Her needs at all times. i firmly believe we've had one of the healthiest and most well respected marriages around before this even started, and yet these experiences are bringing us even closer every day. Who knew that femdom could be so powerful on that level? Well, it's not just femdom on its own. It's also Princess Sheridan, a one-of-a-kind Domme who dove head first into the complexity of getting involved with a married couple on this level. i don't think most Dommes would even be willing to take the chance of getting intertwined in all of the swirling feelings and emotions within a marriage and this super intense subject matter. Not only was She willing, but She was looking for such an opportunity.

i'll fearfully be keeping an eye out for what comes in the mail. Can't say i'd be too disappointed if those shipments don't arrive until next week. :)