Many times i had politely suggested to Goddess D that physiologically i felt all messed up and needed a reset. Many times She pretty much told me She didn't care, and that She wanted at least a year if not longer. Fast forward to a Friday night in a college town where we went out to some of the local bars. Both of us had a good time and a decent amount to drink, but one drink order in particular put me over the top in terms of inebriation. Basically i had ordered a mixed drink that was more than large enough to share, but She didn't seem to have any interest in it. Instead, She allowed me to get pretty messed up off of it while She remained relatively under control. When we got back to the hotel room i was in pretty bad shape and crashed onto the bed. It was very late, probably about 4 AM. The thought of engaging in any kind of activities in the bedroom at that point had not even crossed my mind. Yet D was feeling something and just seems to love when i'm especially vulnerable in moments like that. She pretty much pinned me down and attacked. It wasn't long before Her panties were off and She was sitting down on my face, closing off all ability to see and breathe and started playing with my nonresponsive (due to level of drunkenness) equipment down there. As much as i flailed and tried to get free to breathe, She almost effortlessly put me right back where i was, as i was dizzy and had very little strength to force Her off. Eventually, although it took a little longer than normal, this did arouse me and i finally got hard for Her.
Very often in our Domme/sub relationship, and in many of our clips, D does things like this to me only to ruin an orgasm or to stop altogether and get Her vibraror to finish Herself off in front of my face. Every once in a while though She does decide that She wants the real thing and that was the case here. She had every intention of doing this for a while and then hopping off and denying me again, but this time, possibly as a result of some drinking Herself, She just got so into it that She pushed me far past the point of no return. Honestly i wasn't trying to hide it or sneak it, my groans were very audible and picking up as we got closer and closer to that moment and even after i exploded she didn't realize it until many seconds afterwards. She hopped off in an attempt to ruin but we were far past that point (although i'm not going to lie at that point i'd have loved a few more extra bounces). She may have just assumed that i wouldn't be able to cum after all that drinking, but i definitely was. After 8 months denied, that was an incredible feeling, drunk or not.
Now that this has happened, i do have to admit that over the last few months i found myself almost hiding from anything sexual due to my situation. What i mean by that is i was almost afraid to get aroused by anything sexually or even think about it when away from home out of fear that i would cum involuntarily. And i'm not sure that it ever would've happened, but there were definitely times even walking around day-to-day that it felt unusually sensitive down there and that just maybe it was possible that could happen. As much as i hate to say it, in a way it just kind of stopped being fun when it got to that point, not all the time but certainly part of the time. It's difficult to enjoy an intense ongoing interaction with D when i feel i have no choice but to shut down in order to avoid complete embarrassment. However, if D was enjoying it then i was in no place to complain, as Her desires come first. When this was at its most intense, a few sexual thoughts when in the company of beautiful Women was harmless and added to my torture. All of this is a function i think of having never gone longer than a month without orgasm and just reaching a deep level of uncharted territory to the point where it became somewhat aimless.
By the way, if you want something that sums up how i was feeling day-to-day, my greatest fears are captured hilariously by the Lonely Island video "Jizz in My Pants". So hilarious but for real i felt like this could've been me haha.
So now that i've had a release, what next? Of course, D could just put a stop to any more happening like that. After all it's only one time. Fortunately, i think now that this has happened She agrees that after that amount of time a short holiday may be the best approach. For the last few weeks i've been free to cum normally, and have been doing so pretty much daily. This has all pretty much reminded me how great it feels and admittedly i'd love it for the holiday to last into the foreseeable future at this point. The topic of chastity is still a major turn-on, but the ability to enjoy orgasms is something that i definitely took for granted and am greatly appreciating right now.
Despite that, D has made it pretty clear that She doesn't like this. She's busy with some things right now and is taking a bit of a holiday from paying attention to these matters for the moment. But it's clear that She prefers to control me. Never did i think we'd reach a place in our lives where we evolved into a true Dominant/submissive situation but there's no changing Her mind on that now. Any day now, and i'm not sure when, She's going to put me back into chastity. And the fear this time is that it's going to be for at least a year. She's mentioned it multiple times and it seems to be a goal of Hers to force me into an entire year out of my life of that torture. And of course that's not all. The things that will be done to me throughout that time are going to be a lot to handle. She just ordered a bondage sack in the mail, which i'm sure will be used to hold me helplessly in place while She cruelly ruins orgasms or just prevents my movement and keeps me where She wants me while She runs Her errands. She also ordered a funnel gag and, well, that's just scary. With every intensely pleasurable orgasm i indulge in now, those things are kind of in the back of my mind. These are highly arousing but also highly intimidating thoughts. Before long, much of it will be reality so surely there will be more stories to come.
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