Wednesday, January 20, 2016

A Different Version of Myself

It's becoming more and more clear at this point that i had better get used to the recent changes in my day-to-day life. Once the ball started rolling, Princess Sheridan was careful to ask me a while back if i could handle the changes in Goddess D, as Her newly found power would be alluring and intoxicating and that i, at a certain point, would be married to and living with an actual Dominatrix. This was an exciting thought, and of course it's clear by now that i was willing to submit and accept whatever came with this plunge. Admittedly though, i had my doubts as to whether what Princess was referring to would ever truly come to fruition. Either way, i'm approaching everything with an open mind, ready to embrace and adapt to any changes to come.

We're still in early stages, but Goddess D's progression to this point has been nothing short of alarming. Princess Sheridan has ordered me to follow certain protocols that reinforce the fact that i am beneath Goddess every single day. Every time we part ways for the day i now kiss Goddess' feet and thank Her. Goddess regularly spits in my food and has already on one occasion made me eat my dinner off of the floor like a dog. Over many years i've gone about my daily routines in a certain way, so as one could imagine this has been quite an adjustment. It really does feel like i'm being trained, which is challenging at times and a significant adaptation as none of our Dom/sub interaction in the past has gone too far outside of the bedroom. Regardless, when i think about the fact that i'm being dominated by two beautiful, sexy and intelligent Women, i know i can't take for granted just how lucky i am. Princess Sheridan has several very loyal and very lucky subs across the globe who are privileged to serve Her and who do so eagerly any time She asks something of them. Not only am i fortunate enough to serve Her as well, i live with the knowledge that Princess has direct influence in dominating me physically through Goddess D, who often enough adds her own twist to an activity as She desires, and/or comes up with Her own unique ways to torment me. Serving either one of these amazing Dommes would be a dream come true, but knowing They're working together is especially intense. i now know that Princess Sheridan has produced a 20 minute custom clip for Goddess D, and Goddess D has watched it. it's safe to say i'll be feeling many of the effects of that in the very near future.

One thing being made quite clear by Goddess D on a continuous basis is that i'm not coming. There's no timeframe on it at all. The idea just seems to be completely out of the question to Her right now. She taunts me about it, tells me that my old Wife used to let me have sex with Her any time i wanted, but She's gone and is never coming back. Goddess D has gone so far as to say She won't stop until She's exactly like her mentor Princess Sheridan, which is a lot for me to process. Although this gets tougher and tougher by the day, i understand my place and don't contest this with Goddess D (or Princess Sheridan, for that matter). The resulting sexual frustration is the primary reason for the title of this blog post. At 54 days without an orgasm, and heck even after the first few weeks, i am not my traditional self.

i, like most men, grew very used to getting off any time i wanted. Any time i got worked up over anything, i could just "clear the cobwebs" so to speak. Generally in all parts of life i'm pretty calm, reserved, and thoughtful but not very outwardly expressive at all despite the impression that this blog is probably giving off. Now that i'm denied i feel almost as if i need to find a way to redirect that built up energy and am much more outwardly expressive.  i'm a total wreck a lot of the time. i don't necessarily like that this is the case but i almost feel "needy" in a sense. i crave attention from Goddess D and worship Her more than ever.

This also presents challenges. This past weekend was actually a bit of a struggle. Some distractions from our public life kind of got in the way of our private life, which will happen often enough. Goddess had to tend to some other matters, and it being winter there wasn't a lot going on socially in my circles, so i had considerable down time at home to ponder my situation. This blog and the opportunity to read others' blogs has actually turned out to be an excellent outlet in such moments. i've also sought out some other outlets, one of which was mentioned in my last blog post and got me in some hot water. Truly, all of those outlets are nothing more than an effort to openly share my incredible experiences and interact with people who can understand or relate to them on some level. Obviously i can't talk to my friends about this, but i find it enriching to hear feedback on the blog, or to talk to others in the community with expereince in Dom/sub interactions, whoever those people may be. Despite the ongoing frustration i actually like this version of myself quite a bit. It makes me want to be more outgoing and to be honest none of this would have happened in the first place had Goddess D not originally locked me in chastity. i'm not sure if my response to being in chastity is unique or not, but i'm definitely a very social person and reaching out to others is a natural reaction when my mind is swimming like this. When i can't directly interact with Princess Sheridan or Goddess D, the next best thing is to discuss details of my interactions with them with others who can relate.

Of course, when Princess Sheridan publicly shamed me on Twitter earlier in the week for some of my indiscretions, that was a shock to the system. It made perfect sense why She did of course. i was short-sighted in not realizing how my activities could be construed as disrespectful to both Princess Sheridan and to Goddess D. Princess didn't take long in finding me some other ways to spend my time. i spent hours organizing Goddess D's panty drawers, aided by a youtube link She provided me on the subject. And then Goddess D a few days later assigned me to watch Princess Sheridan's clips and to document quotes from them that aroused me. Goddess hasn't reviewed my work yet but when She does i know She plans to use it against me.

Speaking of being called out by Princess Sheridan, i'm sure She's noticed by now just how nervous i am in interacting with Her. It's amazing how during the work day almost nothing can faze me. i'm always confident and really don't get nervous about anything. Yet the moment i hear from Princess Sheridan i get all jumpy and want so badly to say and do all the right things. There have been a few occasions where i've said more than She was interested in hearing, or i messed up my capitalization and She has just put me in my place with some stern language. i find it difficult to adequately describe in words what it is about Princess that causes me to fumble in that manner. She commands my respect at all times and i want nothing more than to please both Her and Goddess D. This is still very new and exciting and i don't want to screw it up.

At the risk of being too all over the place in this post, i'll wrap this up on an unrelated note with quick story about what happened before bed last night. Goddess D and i were about to go to sleep and were both in bed, and i was locked in chastity as usual. Goddess casually reached over and grabbed me by the device, something that will always arouse me a bit. She then took the opportunity to verbally reinforce my position in relation to her. First She demanded that i tell Her that i was pathetic, and i responded "i'm pathetic, Goddess." This continued with me telling Her that i was a loser, then telling Her that i wasn't worthy of her pussy, then telling Her that i didn't deserve an orgasm. She then directly asked me if I wanted to come, clearly wanting one specific answer... "No, Goddess." At this point, She was just destroying me verbally and making me directly tell Her not to have any mercy on me. i was getting extremely hard in my cage and starting to moan in pain from it. Apparently that sound was all She needed to get excited Herself. Not long after that She was mounting my face while playing around with my strained cock. She was visibly wet through Her underwear and i knew that there was only one way this was going to end before bed, with Her orgasm. my pain only got worse straining against the cage, and the worse it got for me the louder She moaned Herself. It was downright sadistic. Before long, She was sitting on my face with vibrator inside Her and demanding that my tongue be in Her ass. That was the formula for an explosive orgasm right in my face, at which point She quickly got up, went off to the bathroom to clean up, and coldly left me lying there shaking in frustration.

As you might imagine, i was still feeling the effects walking around at work the next morning.

More to come (or not come, depending on which way you're looking at it)...

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