So Much to Process!

i'm not really sure where i want to go with this blog post, but feel like there are a lot of things on my mind worth sharing, at least as an exercise for myself to get some of this out there. So fair warning that this will probably be long and all over the place, kind of freestyle.

i'll start with the events of this weekend. Friday night was actually pretty quiet for the majority of the night but finished up with probably the most painful chastity experience yet, one in which i was close to sort of "tapping out" and seriously begging to be let out. After a long week of work if we don't have plans to go out it often ends up being an opportunity to unwind a bit. i got home from work, kissed Goddess D's feet as always, and She made sure i was back in chastity immediately. For much of the night we just kind relaxed and watched TV. i was starting to doze off around midnight, figuring things would probably just pick up the next day, at which point Goddess D noticed and apparently had a lot of energy left, deciding that She wasn't going to allow me to fall asleep. i swear sometimes She just waits for an opportunity when i'm half awake and unsuspecting and then uses it to take advantage of me and goes into attack mode.

Goddess D climbed on top of me in a position in which a normal couple would be able to have sex, but of course that wasn't an option for me. my body reacted of course. She took that opportunity to remind me that i'm never going to come, that Princess Sheridan is going to keep playing with my head, and She is going to keep playing with my body. There are some very effective recurring themes in Her verbal taunts focused on how i used to be able to have sex with Her and that's now over. i could go on and on. One of these days we should have a recorder running because i'm pretty sure listening to Goddess D's verbal beatdown would be enough to drive a lot of subs out there crazy.

i was quickly straining against my chastity cage and in pain, and Goddess D ran off into the other room to change into something sexier. She came back and hovered over me looking absolutely incredible and all of a sudden it was just too much. Yes, the straining against the cage hurt, but what hurt more was that "blue balls" feeling. It was an intense aching pain in the pit of my stomach and felt almost as if i had just been kicked in the nuts. Suddenly i was literally writhing in pain and almost curling into the fetal position. 

Goddess D didn't seem to care at all! She was enjoying my reaction so much She actually got up and took a picture of me. It was never Tweeted because it was just too dark to be worthwhile, but because it's so dark i can at least post it here as it's dark enough to conceal my appearance. i didn't even know that Goddess D was taking the picture, i was just in agony with my forearm over my eyes.

Shortly after this Goddess D cuffed me to the bed, allowing her to, when She desires, take off my chastity device and play around with me a bit. While i know i'm not permitted to come whether cuffed or not, Goddess knows that on one hand, things get to me so much more when i know it's forced and i have no ability to escape. i'll serve Her at any time but usually only get hard when i feel like i'm in over my head without any physical control of the situation (which works for being in chastity as well as being physically restrained in other ways). She also knows that if close to orgasm when not cuffed, that's pretty much my weakest moment where i'd be most likely to lose control. As for taking me out of the cage at all, it's not that She wants me to experience pleasure so much as the fact that She gets off hearing my moans and feeling me inside Her on occasion for brief periods of time while knowing i'm not allowed to come. Eventually in this case Her vibrator came out, as it usually does, and She had an orgasm while holding my denied manhood in Her hand. About 20 minutes later She had cleaned Herself up and seemed ready to sleep. i was too worked up to sleep and am a night owl most of the time anyway, so at this point i was the one staying up later.

i logged back on to Twitter and noticed that Princess Sheridan was pretty active retweeting an exchange She was having with denied boy. i favorited some of that exchange which included one of the writing tasks She commonly assigns to Her subs. Admittedly i have no idea of the history that led to the exchange but i found it entertaining.

Up until this point the interaction between Princess Sheridan, Goddess D and myself has been primarily between either Princess Sheridan and Goddess D, or between Goddess D and myself. As many can tell by now, Princess Sheridan has been generously acting as a mentor to Goddess D. The majority of the time i'm being dominated it involves Goddess D acting on ideas communicated with Princess Sheridan, and they seem to communicate with each other very regularly. Of course I hear from Princess as well on occasion, but usually to make sure i'm serving Goddess properly, to make sure we're both having fun, etc. Princess definitely puts me in my place over DM often enough, but that's been the extent of a lot of our interaction to this point, as the only real task i was assigned was the body writing task.

By now, while i've witnessed so many of the tasks completed by "SheridansFucktards" - an exclusive group to which i've had the honor of being recently added, i started to think that Princess might spare me from many of those tasks in favor of more specific interactions with Goddess D. So it was kind of a surprise on Friday night when Princess Sheridan noticed that i was active on Twitter and reached out to me over DM and took things a level further.

Of course i agreed at the very beginning that i was on board with any arrangement that was acceptable to Princess Sheridan and Goddess D. i didn't want to overstep any boundaries and make Goddess D uncomfortable, but at the same time was pretty confident that once She was comfortable with Princess Sheridan that Goddess D would be very open to and entertained by Princess Sheridan talking down to me and ordering me to serve in various ways.

As usual, in this conversation with Princess Sheridan, She made sure that Goddess D was being properly served. She's complimentary to Goddess every single time and puts Her first, which is very considerate and much appreciated. However, this time Princess had a little bit more to discuss. First, She wanted to check in and make sure that i was buying Her clips, which i had agreed to do consistently, and told me to step it up (more on this in a bit). She wanted to make sure that i do indeed want to spoil Her and i responded that i do of course, that She works hard, is magnificent and deserves it. It didn't take Princess long to respond and let me know that i'm a worm, pathetic and undeserving. And to drive that point home i received a task:

"i am Princess Sheridan's undeserving pathetic worm. ---200 times--- hearts over the "i"s. Git it shithead?"

That caught me off guard, but i did agree to be owned by both Princess Sheridan and Goddess D, right? So be it then. i was going to have to do some writing the next day to reinforce my place relative to Princess Sheridan, and felt privileged to receive the assignment.

As if that wasn't enough, Princess followed up with:

"Tweet this: i will gladly suck the cock of My owner @TheGoddessD1 's lover if She chooses to cuckold me."

Yikes! i'm pretty sure that Princess is well aware that this is not one of my fetishes. But i think that's the point. While i enjoy the challenge of making reads on what Princess Sheridan is trying to do and why, only She really knows. In this case perhaps She was testing me to see if i'd be compliant in Tweeting something that goes pretty strongly against anything i'm interested in. She had to know that this created conflicting feelings in me. It's a greater level of submission and pretty humbling to Tweet publicly. If i were to rate a fetish on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being a hard limit and out of the question and 10 being something that really excites me to the max, cuckolding in favor of another man would be a solid 1, and i doubt that's terribly surprising. Side note: No judging of anyone who has that fetish, as i have nothing but respect for whatever it is that makes people tick. It's just not for me. Anyway, i Tweeted it. She quoted it. Ugh lol...

Now, getting back to the subject of buying Princess Sheridan's clips... This gives me an opportunity to weigh in on just how much i admire Princess Sheridan's business model. It's absolutely brilliant, maximizes Her success and is fulfilling for all parties involved. i could be wrong but would venture to guess that nobody else in the industry operates in quite the same manner as Princess Sheridan, and it drives Her success. Take Goddess D and i as an example. We've probably been open to something like this for quite some time. If we decided to reach out to a Domme somewhere, we would definitely get something out of it, but more than likely would only be able to block off an hour or two at a time, pay a rate of "x" per hour, and go on with our lives. It would be beneficial to our relationship on some level but at the end of the day, we would have probably never gone down that path as we may not have assessed the cost/benefit as being worth it. At best we'd probably try something one time but wouldn't continue for any extended period of time.

Princess Sheridan could easily charge "x" per hour Herself for what She has done for Goddess D and i, and for all of Her subs. She'd even be successful under that model. But what i love about Princess is that She sees a bigger picture. All i was looking for initially was a $100 custom clip and a cheap thrill. How many Dommes film that clip like any other transaction and just move on? Maybe They get some repeat business, maybe They don't, but what's missing is personal interaction. That personal interaction, if the Domme can devote the time, can increase their business tenfold. Of course, not all Dommes are as experienced and knowledgeable and have the same strengths as Princess Sheridan, and different styles work for different people.

The point is, with what started as me seeking a cheap thrill, within about a month has resulted in my being a devoted sub to Princess Sheridan. This will involve clip purchases roughly weekly and occasional custom clips as well. It also has made me more devoted to Goddess D. And now Goddess D has Her own Twitter account, more than 100 followers already and seems well on her way to being a recognizable Domme on some level? This is crazy. And it would never have been possible if not for the genius of Princess Sheridan. Instead of "x" per hour, Princess Sheridan probably far exceeds whatever "x" would be. By leaving it open ended and not specifically "invoicing" Her subs all the time, i'm willing to bet that many subs come in on the very generous side of things when it comes to consistent business, gifts, etc. Princess doesn't have one of the most successful studios on Kinkbomb by accident! We all do really want to spoil Princess Sheridan after all. Princess always has the ability as She sees fit, to determine if a sub isn't doing enough for Her and can manage Her valuable time accordingly. She'll of course push us to make sure we're doing all we can. :)

And there's another element to all of this. Promotion. What better way to promote Yourself as a Domme than to take all of these interactions with the subbie "fucktards" public? Princess Sheridan's impact is all over Twitter every single day. It could be me being Goddess D's shopping bitch. It could be Yuri completing a writing assignment (or something far more creative), sissy producing a promotional clip, or anything else that Princess requires of Her subs. These are real people all over the world doing Her bidding and giving instant credibility to Her influence to anyone who comes across Her profile on Twitter. Truly brilliant. i'm proud to be a part of this, although i must say already that i feel like i'm in over my head when i compare myself to many of the other subs serving Princess. Their devotion and creativity is so impressive. i have the devotion but have never been much of an artist or creative person. i would categorize myself as more business-minded and math & science focused. As Princess Sheridan points out in Her own blog though, no two subs are exactly the same. It's pretty cool to be associated with so many people with so much passion and different very impressive skill sets.

Speaking of which, i assume most readers of this blog have seen Princess Sheridan's blog, but if anyone hasn't please check it out. There's an endless amount of great material that supports much of what i said in the preceding paragraphs. Her blog is truly what drove me to order a custom clip from Her in the first place, though i had no idea things would develop to this point:

Princess Sheridan's Blog

On the subject of purchasing clips, i do find that this is one of my greatest struggles in an arrangement with two Dommes. One one hand, Princess Sheridan absolutely does deserve to be spoiled, as does Goddess D. We're not what i'd consider rich (everything is relative of course), but definitely successful enough where there's not a major issue in making sure that happens. At the same time, anything i spend on Princess Sheridan is coming out of funds already pooled with Goddess D. So i have to make sure that 1) Princess is being compensated fairly and getting what She deserves (this is Her livelihood after all, not a charity), while 2) making sure that we're not spending so much as to impede our financial goals as a couple. This is the one place where i feel very much caught in the middle. It's something that i do have to discuss with Goddess often and make sure we're on the same page. In an extreme circumstance for example, if i had a thing for financial domination, then Goddess D is indirectly getting dominated as well. Clearly not an option. Fortunately i've interacted with and read enough from Princess Sheridan to know that She expects a lot from Her subs, but also appreciates them and looks out for their well-being. Goddess D and i gladly paid a $100 tribute unsolicited the time that Princess Sheridan spent interacting with Goddess D on the first day, and i've purchased about 25-30 clips since, and look forward to purchasing more each week as much as possible. Obviously nothing like this was ever in our budget initially but we're both still so glad that our world opened up like this and it has been well worth every penny spent to date!

i did warn that this blog post would be all over the place right? So, back to the writing task. i mentioned this caught me off guard. Honestly, it caught Goddess D off guard too. i told her about it at about 3 AM when She was groggy and it was a little bit for Her to process, the fact that i would be spending hours the next day writing that i was another Woman's pathetic worm, lol. It's only natural that as things progress, Goddess D and i will both have some moments of hesitancy, but those things that test us are also things that challenge the status quo a bit and provide excitement. By morning, once Goddess D was awake and had some time to ponder, She immediately instructed me to get started on the task. About 20 lines in, She decided to pull out Her vibrator (yes, again...) while i was toiling through the task.

By the way, another side note: i wouldn't make anything like this up. Just in case anybody has any doubts about how i present this blog, i'm not about creating some bullshit fantasy that doesn't actually happen in real life for the benefit of the readers. i intend to be very honest about what's happening, especially in the blog. i've said it before and i'll say it again. Goddess D and i have our moments where things derail on occasion. Those are almost always caused by normal disagreements that can take place in any relationship based on outside stresses and things that happen in our public lives. When that's happening we both kind of take a brief "time out", but usually are able to resolve that and get back on the horse pretty quickly. At the same time, if it seems far fetched that i have a photograph of Goddess D getting Herself off while i'm writing "i am Princess Sheridan's undeserving pathetic worm." over and over again, let me assure you that's exactly what happened.

This actually isn't a still photograph. I was taking video and took a screen shot. Goddess D didn't even realize i was taking it at that moment:

i guess i should leave it there with this post. Goddess D has been interacting with Princess Sheridan often this evening and i have a feeling there's some scary stuff in my near future. i'll save any of that for the next blog post!

Shopping Bitch

This post was a long time coming, as Goddess D informed me a while back that we were going shopping. It wasn't difficult for me to figure out that this was directly related to the custom clip that Princess Sheridan made for Goddess D. The idea of going shopping with Goddess knowing that i would be subjected to specific behavioral expectations made me uneasy on many levels. i'm always particularly nervous about the risk of making a scene in public. Any kind of "over-the-top" level of public embarrassment would be out of the question, but i do have trust that between Princess Sheridan and Goddess D, they wouldn't push anything to a level where anything we did would make too much of a scene. Aside from those concerns, i just can't express enough how much i have always abhorred shopping in any form. That kind of made this the perfect torture and Goddess D knew it all along. i hadn't even set foot in a mall in the past decade other than to meet people for lunch.

Just before leaving the house, Goddess informed me that i was expected to wear my chastity cage during the trip. For some reason this surprised me initially. my mind was much more on the shopping experience than being in chastity, but there was no reason why i couldn't experience both i suppose. In the car ride on the way to the mall, Goddess D began to lay out expectations for my behavior. i was to walk a few feet behind her at all times. Any time i wanted to talk, i was to ask "may i speak?". When in a store, it was my responsibility to carry anything Goddess had selected for purchase, and to hand these items to Her at the checkout before providing Her my credit card for payment. i was also not to make eye contact with the sales clerk. And speaking of the sales clerk, whenever possible Goddess was trying to ensure that a cute girl was ringing us up, just to add to my embarrassment level. Admittedly, this instruction concerned me slightly. i always make it a point to make eye contact with people and never want to disrespect anyone whether i know them or not. So if i was directly addressed this would have been difficult and i expressed that concern to Goddess. Fortunately, since i was standing behind Goddess and not subject to that kind of direct interaction, this ended up being a non-issue. Can you tell how paranoid i was about all of this?

When we parked at the mall, as always i was to open the car door and doors in the mall for Goddess. I held Her coat and purse while walking behind Her. While Goddess didn't wear anything particularly scandalous, She still selected a pretty form-fitting outfit that showed off Her magnificent ass. For several hours i had a chance to walk behind Her in chastity while admiring Her.

We arrived at the first store and pretty quickly i had my hands full with many items selected for purchase ranging from sweaters to accessories to underwear. i already was holding Goddess' coat and purse in one arm, so everything else ended up in my other arm. She selected so many items that i was quickly fumbling. The hangers were digging into my hand and at one point i dropped an item. Seeing that i couldn't pick it up without probably dropping everything else, Goddess reached down to pick it up, gave it back to me with a look of disdain and told me to get it together. Already overwhelmed, little did i know that Goddess and Princess Sheridan would be directly communicating with each other. Goddess kept Her phone in my jacket pocket and every time i heard it go off, i asked for permission to speak before letting Her know that She had a message from Princess. i could only imagine what they were talking about, but with Princess directly involved i especially knew that this shopping trip wasn't going to be very easy on me.

i waited outside the dressing room at that first store for quite some time while Goddess tried on Her clothes. Eventually, we proceeded to check out as i methodically handed each item over to Goddess at the counter, followed by my credit card of course. i avoided eye contact with the cashier and took Goddess' bags for Her. i was quite relieved to have all of that stuff packaged up and bagged, reducing the chances that i'd drop anything. When we left that store i briefly forgot to walk behind Goddess and was given a stern look immediately. i got the message. Goddess, after some interaction with Princess then took the opportunity to whisper in my ear that i did a good job, but that if i were to fuck up She'd pull my pants down, chastity device and all, in front of the entire mall.

After shopping at a few other stores and purchasing items at at least 3 or 4 of them, apparently Princess Sheridan asked Goddess D if i had my phone with me. When She confirmed that i did, the following message appeared on my phone from Princess:

"You fucking piece of shit. Hand this phone over to Goddess D you fucktard. Don't forget again. Don't make Her take it idiot... hand it over before you go out from now on."

So, that message made me jump and of course i turned the phone over. Funny thing is that was probably only the second time i even looked at it. i received a text from a friend that i couldn't respond to early in the evening because my hands were full, and then once Princess messaged me the phone was in Goddess D's hands.

One of our last stops was Victoria's Secret. By then i was carrying several of Goddess' bags along with Her coat and purse, and it was starting to be a spectacle. Of course there were a few young and cute girls working there and i just looked down as Goddess took Her time browsing most of the store. After that purchase and with my arms and back starting to hurt a little bit, Princess Sheridan asked Goddess D to take a picture of me. i'm sure Princess was amused with the image, as she very quickly edited out my face so Goddess could post the pic on Twitter with the caption "Making a monkey out of My shopping bitch. #Paypig #Walletslave #Findom":

Of course, i was there to serve and to do whatever was asked of me by Goddess D or Princess Sheridan. Internally however, by this point i was exhausted and so very much hoping that Goddess D was satisfied with Her shopping and ready to go. Unfortunately for me, Goddess wanted to browse handbags at a department store, so we did that for another 20-30 minutes until the mall was about ready to close. As we approached the door to finally leave, i started to skip ahead. In my mind i needed to get out to the car so i could bring it back to the door to pick up Goddess, but i was too anxious in doing so and as a result briefly walked in front of Goddess D. A quick snap of Her fingers had me back in my place. When we reached the door i finally retrieved the car, loaded up the bags and opened the door for Goddess D.

When we returned home, Goddess D piled on the humiliation. i had yet to eat dinner so She took the opportunity to make sure i had a subbie dinner, eaten naked on the floor like a dog after She had spit in my food. i was also bent over Her lap and spanked a few times for some of the mistakes i made during the shopping trip. Goddess said i did well overall though and asked how i would grade myself. I suggested a "B" and Goddess agreed, though i'm thinking Princess may not have been so generous.

Serving Goddess D is always an honor and this trip definitely taught me a lot about how far i have to go to serve Her in all situations. After so many years of marriage and so many built-up alpha-male tendencies outside of the bedroom, this is a major adjustment. An adjustment that is well worth it however as serving Goddess D in all parts of life helps to legitimize my subservient status to Her in sexual situations as well. This transformation is a fulfilling one without a doubt, so i hope to form better habits going forward any time Goddess and i go out together.

In case anyone was curious, some of Goddess D's purchases are captured in this picture, everything She's wearing actually except for the bracelet:

i think She did quite well. :) Now if only i could get permission to come... Day 62 just started and i'm more and more tormented each day.

A Different Version of Myself

It's becoming more and more clear at this point that i had better get used to the recent changes in my day-to-day life. Once the ball started rolling, Princess Sheridan was careful to ask me a while back if i could handle the changes in Goddess D, as Her newly found power would be alluring and intoxicating and that i, at a certain point, would be married to and living with an actual Dominatrix. This was an exciting thought, and of course it's clear by now that i was willing to submit and accept whatever came with this plunge. Admittedly though, i had my doubts as to whether what Princess was referring to would ever truly come to fruition. Either way, i'm approaching everything with an open mind, ready to embrace and adapt to any changes to come.

We're still in early stages, but Goddess D's progression to this point has been nothing short of alarming. Princess Sheridan has ordered me to follow certain protocols that reinforce the fact that i am beneath Goddess every single day. Every time we part ways for the day i now kiss Goddess' feet and thank Her. Goddess regularly spits in my food and has already on one occasion made me eat my dinner off of the floor like a dog. Over many years i've gone about my daily routines in a certain way, so as one could imagine this has been quite an adjustment. It really does feel like i'm being trained, which is challenging at times and a significant adaptation as none of our Dom/sub interaction in the past has gone too far outside of the bedroom. Regardless, when i think about the fact that i'm being dominated by two beautiful, sexy and intelligent Women, i know i can't take for granted just how lucky i am. Princess Sheridan has several very loyal and very lucky subs across the globe who are privileged to serve Her and who do so eagerly any time She asks something of them. Not only am i fortunate enough to serve Her as well, i live with the knowledge that Princess has direct influence in dominating me physically through Goddess D, who often enough adds her own twist to an activity as She desires, and/or comes up with Her own unique ways to torment me. Serving either one of these amazing Dommes would be a dream come true, but knowing They're working together is especially intense. i now know that Princess Sheridan has produced a 20 minute custom clip for Goddess D, and Goddess D has watched it. it's safe to say i'll be feeling many of the effects of that in the very near future.

One thing being made quite clear by Goddess D on a continuous basis is that i'm not coming. There's no timeframe on it at all. The idea just seems to be completely out of the question to Her right now. She taunts me about it, tells me that my old Wife used to let me have sex with Her any time i wanted, but She's gone and is never coming back. Goddess D has gone so far as to say She won't stop until She's exactly like her mentor Princess Sheridan, which is a lot for me to process. Although this gets tougher and tougher by the day, i understand my place and don't contest this with Goddess D (or Princess Sheridan, for that matter). The resulting sexual frustration is the primary reason for the title of this blog post. At 54 days without an orgasm, and heck even after the first few weeks, i am not my traditional self.

i, like most men, grew very used to getting off any time i wanted. Any time i got worked up over anything, i could just "clear the cobwebs" so to speak. Generally in all parts of life i'm pretty calm, reserved, and thoughtful but not very outwardly expressive at all despite the impression that this blog is probably giving off. Now that i'm denied i feel almost as if i need to find a way to redirect that built up energy and am much more outwardly expressive.  i'm a total wreck a lot of the time. i don't necessarily like that this is the case but i almost feel "needy" in a sense. i crave attention from Goddess D and worship Her more than ever.

This also presents challenges. This past weekend was actually a bit of a struggle. Some distractions from our public life kind of got in the way of our private life, which will happen often enough. Goddess had to tend to some other matters, and it being winter there wasn't a lot going on socially in my circles, so i had considerable down time at home to ponder my situation. This blog and the opportunity to read others' blogs has actually turned out to be an excellent outlet in such moments. i've also sought out some other outlets, one of which was mentioned in my last blog post and got me in some hot water. Truly, all of those outlets are nothing more than an effort to openly share my incredible experiences and interact with people who can understand or relate to them on some level. Obviously i can't talk to my friends about this, but i find it enriching to hear feedback on the blog, or to talk to others in the community with expereince in Dom/sub interactions, whoever those people may be. Despite the ongoing frustration i actually like this version of myself quite a bit. It makes me want to be more outgoing and to be honest none of this would have happened in the first place had Goddess D not originally locked me in chastity. i'm not sure if my response to being in chastity is unique or not, but i'm definitely a very social person and reaching out to others is a natural reaction when my mind is swimming like this. When i can't directly interact with Princess Sheridan or Goddess D, the next best thing is to discuss details of my interactions with them with others who can relate.

Of course, when Princess Sheridan publicly shamed me on Twitter earlier in the week for some of my indiscretions, that was a shock to the system. It made perfect sense why She did of course. i was short-sighted in not realizing how my activities could be construed as disrespectful to both Princess Sheridan and to Goddess D. Princess didn't take long in finding me some other ways to spend my time. i spent hours organizing Goddess D's panty drawers, aided by a youtube link She provided me on the subject. And then Goddess D a few days later assigned me to watch Princess Sheridan's clips and to document quotes from them that aroused me. Goddess hasn't reviewed my work yet but when She does i know She plans to use it against me.

Speaking of being called out by Princess Sheridan, i'm sure She's noticed by now just how nervous i am in interacting with Her. It's amazing how during the work day almost nothing can faze me. i'm always confident and really don't get nervous about anything. Yet the moment i hear from Princess Sheridan i get all jumpy and want so badly to say and do all the right things. There have been a few occasions where i've said more than She was interested in hearing, or i messed up my capitalization and She has just put me in my place with some stern language. i find it difficult to adequately describe in words what it is about Princess that causes me to fumble in that manner. She commands my respect at all times and i want nothing more than to please both Her and Goddess D. This is still very new and exciting and i don't want to screw it up.

At the risk of being too all over the place in this post, i'll wrap this up on an unrelated note with quick story about what happened before bed last night. Goddess D and i were about to go to sleep and were both in bed, and i was locked in chastity as usual. Goddess casually reached over and grabbed me by the device, something that will always arouse me a bit. She then took the opportunity to verbally reinforce my position in relation to her. First She demanded that i tell Her that i was pathetic, and i responded "i'm pathetic, Goddess." This continued with me telling Her that i was a loser, then telling Her that i wasn't worthy of her pussy, then telling Her that i didn't deserve an orgasm. She then directly asked me if I wanted to come, clearly wanting one specific answer... "No, Goddess." At this point, She was just destroying me verbally and making me directly tell Her not to have any mercy on me. i was getting extremely hard in my cage and starting to moan in pain from it. Apparently that sound was all She needed to get excited Herself. Not long after that She was mounting my face while playing around with my strained cock. She was visibly wet through Her underwear and i knew that there was only one way this was going to end before bed, with Her orgasm. my pain only got worse straining against the cage, and the worse it got for me the louder She moaned Herself. It was downright sadistic. Before long, She was sitting on my face with vibrator inside Her and demanding that my tongue be in Her ass. That was the formula for an explosive orgasm right in my face, at which point She quickly got up, went off to the bathroom to clean up, and coldly left me lying there shaking in frustration.

As you might imagine, i was still feeling the effects walking around at work the next morning.

More to come (or not come, depending on which way you're looking at it)...

Turning Point: Goddess D's first interaction with Princess Sheridan

In my introductory blog entry, i referenced "Goddess D" and "my Wife" in different parts of the post, as that post was intended to capture certain parts of the evolution of our marriage. To avoid any confusion let me once again point out that Goddess D is my Wife of many years, but future posts will reference her only as "Goddess D" for consistency.

Goddess D and i were already in quite the groove before this all got so much more intense. As mentioned, i've been in chastity (or at least denied orgasm) since late November, longer than any previous experience. To clarify that a bit, i'm let out before work, and put back when i return from work. i do not wear the device when we're out with friends or family, but have worn it out of the house when going out for dinner or drinks with Goddess D. It's just a comfort level thing for us. We'd rather not have my male friends noticing that i'm not using the urinal, or take a chance that the device be somewhat visible or that one of my idiot friends decides to smack me in the balls as a joke (rare but it's happened). i also live a fairly active lifestyle and need to be free of the device when doing anything athletic. Regardless of whether the device is on or off, i obey Goddess D and know better than to try and sneak anything.

One other time that the device may come off, is when Goddess D decides she wants to take me out to play. This happens fairly often on weekends, and usually leads to a terrifying case of blue balls. It's actually so bad sometimes that i have trouble walking normally for a while. Whenever She does this, i'm restrained to the bed because honestly, i do get so riled up that i probably would reach the point where i couldn't control myself. She has edged me with her hands and taken me to the brink of orgasm (in one case so far that a few drops came out, though i got no satisfaction out of it), and has even ridden me for brief periods of time before hopping off to take care of herself. I've lost track of the number of times She's just laid a pillow down over my raging erection, laid Her head back on the pillow with her ass on my face, only to get herself off with a vibrator inches from my nose. That or something like that has happened several times by now while i've been denied. Imagine being locked back into chastity after all that. It's unbearable!

What i described in the above paragraph is extremely hot to me, and of course i've never had anything to complain about. However, if there's one area in which Goddess D has struggled in the past, and She'd be the first to admit this, it has involved the verbal interaction. When to say something, how to say it, etc. Often things have been hot in the bedroom and just sort of back to normal when out of the bedroom. Enter Princess Sheridan...

As I mentioned in my last blog entry, after some of the sexual torture i had been enduring, i was extremely aroused one weekend and came across Princess Sheridan's website. i ordered a custom clip from Her and exchanged a few messages with Her over the period of several days on the subject of getting Goddess D involved (She was not being referred to as Goddess D at that time, yet). After kind of dragging my feet getting Goddess D warmed up to the idea, shortly after I let Princess Sheridan know that Goddess D was willing to set up a Twitter account, i received this message from Princess:

"Put her on...go away...I want to talk to Her."

And suddenly, my heart started to race. Goddess D and i have been together long enough where although we have a lot of fun together, i generally know what to expect. This step right here was new territory, a serious relinquishment of control.

They chatted for a little while, and it seemed to go well. After some brief back-and-forth, i was asked to help get Goddess D's Twitter account set up so they could talk to each other privately, so of course i did so. In addition, Princess ordered me to write down all of my logins and passwords for Goddess. Once the new Twitter account was ready, Goddess ordered me to get down on all fours. This was far from a typical request of course, but who was i to disobey? i got down on all fours and Goddess kicked her feet up on my back to use me as a footstool while She continued her conversation with Princess Sheridan on Her own account. i had no idea what they were talking about, but Goddess was giggling, clearly entertained by some of the ideas Princess was sharing with Her. It didn't take long before I was addressing Her as Goddess, being called "pathetic" and a "loser" to my face with intense eye contact. She didn't crack a smirk or anything. i was just being degraded and She was taking no crap from me. The transformation was so rapid i didn't know what hit me.

After some time at this, She had me get up and led me to the adjacent bedroom. i was told to kneel on the floor with my back to the door, and stay there. Goddess D returned to the other room to continue Her conversation with Princess Sheridan. i was there for a long time. It felt like an hour but i have no idea. I listened to Goddess D's laughter in the other room. Whatever was being said had Her thoroughly entertained. Occasionally, She would return to me only to reprimand me if I shifted my posture, and to continue degrading me (i wish i could remember all of what was said, because i'm not doing it justice). Just when i thought it had gone as far as it was going to go, She spit in my face. But then She didn't think She spit well enough the first time, so She kept practicing. It was like target practice. One on the cheek, next one in the eye. Then She just went back into the other room to continue her chat while i remained kneeling. By the time i was allowed back up, i was incredibly uncomfortable, but pretty excited. i was in chastity the entire time of course, and was dripping precum in response to was happening.

Goddess D then told me that i was going to take Her out to a bar or restaurant. When i returned to my laptop, Princess Sheridan had sent me some additional messages. She asked me to promise to be obedient, informed me that Goddess D was out there, had no limits and that i was fucked now. Just when i thought our conversation was about over, Princess Sheridan ordered me to ask Goddess D to spit in my face before we left the house, and to have fun. Yikes. Following orders near the garage door, i asked her to spit in my face. She did. i was just in a different world at that point. All of this was surreal. Goddess D took it even further by telling me that i was basically never getting out of chastity, while also driving the point home that i'm a loser. i got hard enough in my chastity device that i had to crouch down to ease the pain.

We visited a local bar. i was sure to get the door for Goddess in every instance. This was a rare case in which i was wearing the chastity device in public. We each ordered a beer, and it didn't take long for Goddess to take my beer, take a sip out of it, and spit it back in the glass. She did this very casually to where nobody in the bar would notice, but did it every time i ordered a drink. i have to assume this was an idea Princess Sheridan provided Goddess D that had her giggling, but at the same time i also know that Goddess D was running with some of these ideas and improvising a few things on Her own. Our time at the bar was filled with great conversation about all of this interaction. It was a heck of a bonding experience and brand new to both of us. We shared ideas, discussed some of what was happening, and in many subtle ways Goddess continued to demonstrate her dominance over me while we were sitting there. Although neither of us are the types that would want to make a scene in public, being out in the presence of other people while all of this was happening felt a little dangerous and exciting.

By the time we left the bar it was pretty late, so we returned home and called it a night. i provided Princess Sheridan with an update of how the date went, and that was that. Since that night, much of this interaction has continued. i've received tasks from Princess Sheridan, some of which are designed to impact the way i address Goddess D. And then of course there was the humbling body writing pic of me on Twitter. Goddess D and Princess Sheridan continue to interact regularly and share ideas, most of which i know nothing about (which makes it all the more exciting).

Speaking of Twitter, Princess Sheridan has been a huge influence on Goddess D's Twitter page. We're getting more and more comfortable with taking some of these pictures and posting them. The following picture in particular, which of course i took while in chastity, has gotten a ton of positive feedback. Some of that feedback has even come from other Dommes who have commented on it.

As a side note, i had some credits left over on a webcam site, and obviously i'm horny all the time now so i jumped into a brief chat with a Domme during some down time. We discussed a lot of what has been happening with my current predicament, which i have to assume is a little bit unique compared to what She hears from Her average customer. The Domme in the chat actually remembered this image from Her Twitter feed, pulled up this pic on her cell phone and showed it to me on cam, asking if this was my Wife. Pretty unexpected and pretty cool. (By the way... No, i'm not seeking any more owners. Two is enough! i would refer to that webcam session as just another way to torment myself.)

To conclude, i'm sure there are a ton of mindblowing experiences ahead in my future, though i take nothing for granted. Even if it all stopped right here i'm fortunate to have experienced what i have to this point. i am lucky beyond anything that could ever be expected to be living this life. Regardless of what does come in the future, there's one thing i can say for sure... i will never forget the day of the first conversation between Goddess D and Princess Sheridan.

Introduction

i'll just start out by stating some basic facts of where things stand today, and will work back from there. As an introductory post, this will be pretty long and introspective. Future posts will of course be lighter and more focused on some of the day-to-day experiences.

i'm a married, submissive, heterosexual male with a variety of fetishes. i am owned by my gorgeous Wife of many years (Goddess D), AND Princess Sheridan, a beautiful and intelligent Domme i've only recently become acquainted with, but has been integral in turning our world upside down in an amazing way over the past month. This all started when i was left to my own devices one weekend and i decided to order a custom clip from Princess Sheridan (one of several explorations that weekend into all that the world of online kink has to offer). The subject of the clip did take my real-life happenings with Goddess D into account. i ordered the clip, engaged in some light interaction with Princess Sheridan on Twitter, and once She realized this was real and not just my made up fantasy, She encouraged me to get my Wife directly involved, with a perhaps future goal of a custom clip to be made for my Wife to see before i'm allowed to see the clip. That clip is in the works as we speak. my Wife seems to know all about the planned format and contents of the clip, but i know nothing. Just even knowing that Goddess D and Princess Sheridan are interacting privately on a regular basis is enough to drive me crazy. This all got very real, very quickly.

So big picture, how did i get to this amazing place? Honestly, i needed to be more open with Goddess D. It was no easy task, though in hindsight i could have made it easier. This is something that has taken years. At the start of a relationship, short of some insane level of compatibility in the bedroom, interaction is pretty vanilla. When we met, Goddess D probably didn't even realize most of my fetishes existed. We were good people who liked each other on a base level, so that probably wasn't the best time for me to just come right out and tell Her that i'd love it if She tied me to the bed and sat on my face. i won't even get into some of the crazier stuff. That alone may have been enough to spook Her at the time. So i'll stand by my decision to not divulge too much right off the bat.

Over time though, those walls need to come down. Societal norms make that a difficult task. Most of us have been brought up in a manner that stigmatizes certain parts of life, sex being one of the most common. The principles we're raised on are often based in religion. They may simply be old-fashioned long-standing beliefs that have been passed down for generations. Most people who provide these teachings mean well, but it's taken me years to develop my own viewpoints on the world and to have the courage to reject a lot of the viewpoints that have been forced on me since childhood. Much of that comes from interacting with people from all walks of life, encountering multiple perspectives and just not living in a bubble. i want to experience great things in life, and not just float along doing what society considers normal. We get one chance, right? There's no time to waste. There are far too many great people to meet and amazing experiences to have and truly not enough time for it all. It all starts with accepting exactly who you are, what turns you on, and refusing to be ashamed of it.

It took a while, but eventually i had no problem being open enough with my Wife to share my fetishes with Her. i believe many people take that step, actually. This is where the greatest challenge comes in. How likely is it that one's partner is going to just be able to snap their fingers and be into all of those same things? What if one person reaches this level of openness, but their partner's inclination is to reject all of it based on traditional values or just simply because it makes them uncomfortable?

Fortunately in my case, my Wife accepted me and all of my interests, but at the same time, diving into those things in the bedroom was easier said than done at first. She had to get Her feet wet and really learn to explore a lot of these subjects for Herself. This was new to Her and initially not as much of a priority in Her life, while admittedly most of these fetishes have consumed me since my teenage years. i've been scratching this itch by browsing internet content for years and years. It would be unreasonable and unfair to expect my Wife (or past girlfriends, prior to meeting my Wife) to just cater to me in that manner. It can be a burden for Her, through no fault of either one of us. i'm happy to say that we've evolved to a point now where i truly am owned. Goddess D now embraces and genuinely enjoys this role, now that She is more knowledgeable and comfortable with it. Our relationship is now so much more intense, as She realizes the extent of her power and the impact Her actions have on me.

The breakthrough? Finally being open enough to not only share my interests, but how often i indulge those interests and how. The sex industry has been around forever, and it thrives. And it should! How much of that activity involves married men and how much of it is shared with their spouses? i'd venture to guess a tiny fraction of a percent. How many husbands order video clips indulging their fetishes online, and then just share them with their Wives? Doing this can elicit a wide range of emotions. It carries an initial shock that can be downright destructive to the relationship if not disclosed with caution, so we really shouldn't be surprised that so much is kept private. Generally speaking most men are wired a certain way when it comes to their attitudes about sex, and Women are simply on a different wavelength. Again, it's really nobody's fault, so any feelings of shame on the side of the men should stop right there. This is all so very normal, and it's not easy to bridge that gap.  All that said, which relationship is healthier? One in which a man is unable to share his activities with his Wife, represses his desires and acts independently to address them? Or one in which a man is able to get on the same page with his Wife, be completely honest about who he is and come to an understanding and acceptance with Her?

There's a time and a place to initiate such discussions. Being honest doesn't always mean disclosing every piece of information the moment it happens. i've certainly screwed up that timing a few times. Sometimes, there's no great time, but it's still best to show some courage at the best possible time and just get it out there. At this point, finally, Goddess D now knows the full scale of my sex drive. She knows that i've ordered custom clips, interacted with Dommes online, dabbled in online chats on webcam, and has long known that my attraction for beautiful dominant Women will never disappear. The details were the missing piece. Up until this past week She didn't even know, for example, that i have a Twitter account catering specifically to these fetishes. She now knows, for the first time ever, that if i'm home alone on some particular day with nothing to do, it's a near certainty that i will be a total hornball on the internet, not limited to looking at pictures and videos but also by interacting with people. That was a shock to Her at first, no doubt. But after talking it out, She understands exactly why i do these things. i can assure you, it's not to find another Wife! As of this post Goddess D has had me in chastity for 45 days. What i do on the internet when She's away is only helping Her cause and driving me deeper into submission to Her. The majority of the time at this point, it amuses Her! Like any marriage, there are occasional bumps in the road. One of us can have a bad day. Outside stresses can get in the way. But for the most part, we're in a very healthy place in this department.

Her ultimate conclusion after a ton of back and forth? i'm the same person i've always been. We're just more connected. She gets even more attention now than ever before. Sex is sex. Love is love. Of course there always have to be some boundaries, but we're each approaching everything with such open-minded viewpoints that almost anything can at least be discussed. We're closer than ever. Now She has many new ways to dominate me, and so many more resources for doing so. The very Women i used to hide from Goddess D, are now either directly or indirectly, teaching Her! Often, Goddess D will pick something up from fetish clips i've bought over the years (which she really enjoys now, fortunately for me).

In the most recent twist, Princess Sheridan is directly responsible for taking this to another level. All of a sudden, i'm now owned by both Princess Sheridan and Goddess D. In the past week i've literally had that written on my body right above my locked away cock and posted on Twitter. In that same week Goddess D has developed Her own account which She's using to torment me daily, all with Princess Sheridan right at Her side, providing feedback for Her and even taking the time out of Her day to edit some of Goddess D's pictures for posting on Twitter. It's like i'm living in a crazy, amazing dream. i'm grateful for Goddess D's open mindedness to embrace interaction with Princess Sheridan, overcoming any very natural instincts to reject all of this based on unfounded insecurities. i'm also grateful for Princess Sheridan's approach from day one. While being nothing but respectful from the very start, She made it pretty clear that She really wanted to talk to my Wife, and to take a unique step to push this beyond just a fantasy custom clip and more towards a very real and impactful interaction. i now sit here, truly having no idea what might be next, and that's an amazing feeling. i didn't really know it at the time, but after all of that time interacting on the internet, Princess Sheridan's response to me is exactly what i was looking for. i wasn't sure that anything like this was even possible, but in a perfect world, this was exactly what i was looking for, and it's actually happening. i know, careful what you wish for, right? True enough. i'm in for it, but damn this is exciting.

Sitting here in chastity now has a much different feel to it. Goddess D's demeanor has changed significantly since she started interacting with Princess Sheridan. This is already the longest i've ever gone without orgasm. Somehow i sense that being owned by two Dommes doesn't help my chances of getting out of this predicament any time soon. But you know what? i wouldn't trade this for anything. i eagerly await with butterflies, whatever is next to happen.