Sweet Release, Temporary Freedom

In my last blog post i alluded to the fact that there have been a few developments of late i intended to write about. The subject of this post would've definitely taken away from the subject of the prior post, because shortly after being kind of mocked at a fetish party for being 8 months without a satisfying orgasm, that drought has finally been broken.

Many times i had politely suggested to Goddess D that physiologically i felt all messed up and needed a reset. Many times She pretty much told me She didn't care, and that She wanted at least a year if not longer. Fast forward to a Friday night in a college town where we went out to some of the local bars. Both of us had a good time and a decent amount to drink, but one drink order in particular put me over the top in terms of inebriation. Basically i had ordered a mixed drink that was more than large enough to share, but She didn't seem to have any interest in it. Instead, She allowed me to get pretty messed up off of it while She remained relatively under control. When we got back to the hotel room i was in pretty bad shape and crashed onto the bed. It was very late, probably about 4 AM. The thought of engaging in any kind of activities in the bedroom at that point had not even crossed my mind. Yet D was feeling something and just seems to love when i'm especially vulnerable in moments like that. She pretty much pinned me down and attacked. It wasn't long before Her panties were off and She was sitting down on my face, closing off all ability to see and breathe and started playing with my nonresponsive (due to level of drunkenness) equipment down there. As much as i flailed and tried to get free to breathe, She almost effortlessly put me right back where i was, as i was dizzy and had very little strength to force Her off. Eventually, although it took a little longer than normal, this did arouse me and i finally got hard for Her.

Very often in our Domme/sub relationship, and in many of our clips, D does things like this to me only to ruin an orgasm or to stop altogether and get Her vibraror to finish Herself off in front of my face. Every once in a while though She does decide that She wants the real thing and that was the case here. She had every intention of doing this for a while and then hopping off and denying me again, but this time, possibly as a result of some drinking Herself, She just got so into it that She pushed me far past the point of no return. Honestly i wasn't trying to hide it or sneak it, my groans were very audible and picking up as we got closer and closer to that moment and even after i exploded she didn't realize it until many seconds afterwards. She hopped off in an attempt to ruin but we were far past that point (although i'm not going to lie at that point i'd have loved a few more extra bounces). She may have just assumed that i wouldn't be able to cum after all that drinking, but i definitely was. After 8 months denied, that was an incredible feeling, drunk or not.

Now that this has happened, i do have to admit that over the last few months i found myself almost hiding from anything sexual due to my situation. What i mean by that is i was almost afraid to get aroused by anything sexually or even think about it when away from home out of fear that i would cum involuntarily. And i'm not sure that it ever would've happened, but there were definitely times even walking around day-to-day that it felt unusually sensitive down there and that just maybe it was possible that could happen. As much as i hate to say it, in a way it just kind of stopped being fun when it got to that point, not all the time but certainly part of the time. It's difficult to enjoy an intense ongoing interaction with D when i feel i have no choice but to shut down in order to avoid complete embarrassment. However, if D was enjoying it then i was in no place to complain, as Her desires come first. When this was at its most intense, a few sexual thoughts when in the company of beautiful Women was harmless and added to my torture. All of this is a function i think of having never gone longer than a month without orgasm and just reaching a deep level of uncharted territory to the point where it became somewhat aimless.

By the way, if you want something that sums up how i was feeling day-to-day, my greatest fears are captured hilariously by the Lonely Island video "Jizz in My Pants". So hilarious but for real i felt like this could've been me haha.

So now that i've had a release, what next? Of course, D could just put a stop to any more happening like that. After all it's only one time. Fortunately, i think now that this has happened She agrees that after that amount of time a short holiday may be the best approach. For the last few weeks i've been free to cum normally, and have been doing so pretty much daily. This has all pretty much reminded me how great it feels and admittedly i'd love it for the holiday to last into the foreseeable future at this point. The topic of chastity is still a major turn-on, but the ability to enjoy orgasms is something that i definitely took for granted and am greatly appreciating right now.

Despite that, D has made it pretty clear that She doesn't like this. She's busy with some things right now and is taking a bit of a holiday from paying attention to these matters for the moment. But it's clear that She prefers to control me. Never did i think we'd reach a place in our lives where we evolved into a true Dominant/submissive situation but there's no changing Her mind on that now. Any day now, and i'm not sure when, She's going to put me back into chastity. And the fear this time is that it's going to be for at least a year. She's mentioned it multiple times and it seems to be a goal of Hers to force me into an entire year out of my life of that torture. And of course that's not all. The things that will be done to me throughout that time are going to be a lot to handle. She just ordered a bondage sack in the mail, which i'm sure will be used to hold me helplessly in place while She cruelly ruins orgasms or just prevents my movement and keeps me where She wants me while She runs Her errands.  She also ordered a funnel gag and, well, that's just scary. With every intensely pleasurable orgasm i indulge in now, those things are kind of in the back of my mind. These are highly arousing but also highly intimidating thoughts. Before long, much of it will be reality so surely there will be more stories to come.

Fetish Party!

It's been busy of late and there hasn't been much time to blog, but i hope to find some more time to write as there have been several developments of late. The many new experiences in the current year have been one heck of a roller coaster ride. There are times when it's non-stop intense and other times where it all just kind of has to calm down a little bit, but overall i'm just thrilled with the ride!

One really cool experience that happened recently in our travels was getting invited to a fetish party. It's kind of a long story as to how this developed. A few years back i ordered a custom clip from a Domme, one whose work i've been familiar with and a fan of for some time. Just to be extra cautious i'll keep Her identity anonymous for purposes of this blog. Funny thing is i've not really ordered that many customs over the years but it pretty much has happened only when Goddess D has had me in chastity. A couple of weeks into not being able to cum i just get these really intense sexual urges and i find myself seeking other forms of stimulation to compensate. The denied feeling gets really intense and i sort of helplessly do things to drive myself deeper into frustration. Goddess D knows this pattern by now and mostly encourages it. At the end of the day it's a lot of fun once we're on the same page with each other. We definitely understand what makes the other tick and it really is harmless fun (and definitely profitable for several hard-working Dommes in the industry)!

Anyway, back to the fetish party. The Domme who filmed that custom clip a few years ago seems very supportive of others in the industry and actually started following Goddess D a while back. To the best of my knowledge i don't think She had any idea of the connection between Goddess D and my custom. As a matter of fact i'm almost sure She didn't. So that was just one of those cool moments where Goddess D realized that we're not only fans but in some very small way, peers as well. In my enthusiasm i interacted with this Domme over Twitter a few times and She was kind enough to suggest we let Her know if we're ever in Her area. Never did i really expect She'd actually want to meet us, but we did happen to be in Her area recently and notified Her in passing, and She actually invited us to a fetish party being held one evening.

Now, as adventurous as Goddess D and i have been of late, a fetish party is something completely new to both of us. Just having content on the internet was a huge step but we've never been in an environment where strangers are engaging in fetish-related activities. We had no idea really what to expect, what to wear or anything, but this was too cool of an opportunity to pass up and we showed up. The moment we arrived we immediately recognized not just the Domme i interacted with but another very well known Domme pretty much greeting everyone at the door and looking beautiful as they always do. It was kind of awkward walking up and introducing ourselves because for that first meeting they really had no idea who we were, but we introduced ourselves and entered the building. It was a super cool playspace with all kinds of activities already going on. Most of it wasn't even Femdom. Just people with all types of different fetish interests hanging out, some actually being tied up, spanked and whipped in various ways. Many appeared to be couples and others perhaps not but more than willing to play anyway. Others simply observed and had friendly chats with people. It was a very open and welcoming environment.

We actually had a pretty lengthy conversation with a very cool couple there who is involved in a male dominant, female submissive relationship, and although our interests couldn't be further apart from each other, it was a really interesting conversation. It was evident that they were very much in love with each other and both found the power dynamic in their relationship fulfilling much like Goddess D and i do in ours. We chatted a bit about what they're looking for in their sexual relationship and discussed our clip store a bit ourselves. It was an eye opening and entertaining conversation for all involved.

Eventually after being there for a while we returned to the front and struck up a conversation with the two well-known Dommes. We expressed how grateful we were for the invite and made it very clear that this was our first such experience. You'd think i'd be extremely nervous just having a casual conversation with two Dommes i've observed on the internet for years, but honestly they were just such cool people i wasn't nervous at all. It was so fun to just talk about our clip store with them and share experiences on some level. They are both extremely busy people and although i'd have loved to talk to them all night, it was pretty thrilling to even have about 10-15 minutes to chat.

At one point during the conversation Goddess D informed them about how i haven't cum in 8 months, which just caught me very off-guard. That kind of embarrassed me a little, until the Domme who invited us immediately reacted excitedly and yelled across the room to the bartender pointing at me "This guy hasn't cum in 8 months!" That's when i froze and just kind of freaked out a bit. It was actually really funny and he was a very friendly bartender from the very beginning, but i just froze. He may have even tried to get me to walk over and high five him i can't even remember. She was nice enough to point out that this was a fetish party and nobody cares, and of course i knew that. When i think back on it, that was a really cool moment, to have a Domme i've long been a fan of from a distance comment on my chastity situation in person like that right in front of me.

We just all kind of hung out in a friendly way like any other party to the point where it never really fully sunk in who we were hanging with until after we left. As busy as they are it was such a small interaction to them but had such a major impact on Goddess D and i and we were so glad we came. One of the Dommes actually asked if D wanted to tie me up or something but She hasn't learned the rope skills that many of the folks there were demonstrating and it was already kind of getting late in the night. We eventually let them carry on into conversations with other people, we walked around a bit more and finally exchanged hugs at the door on our way out. i was probably mostly a babbling idiot but it was clear they enjoyed Goddess D's personality from the start, and i wasn't the slightest bit surprised about that.

In our travels we did also have dinner another Domme, and since She Tweeted about it i'll go ahead and disclose that it was Goddess Sapphire. That was a pretty crazy conversation as well because it was mostly Goddess Sapphire and Goddess D going on with a multiple hour conversation just talking about ways to torture their subs. We finished dinner and still stayed well past the restaurant's closing time. Being in the presence of two Goddesses just openly discussing how to torment lowly subs such as myself was kinda crazy lol.

It was really cool to come out of our shell and meet people in the fetish community like we did recently. Although i'll be the first to admit in a different setting i'd be intimidated as fuck being in the presence of these amazing Women, they're human beings like anyone else first and foremost. Both Goddess D and i were glad to meet all of them. i'm sure that won't be our last fetish party nor will it be our last in-person interaction with folks in the fetish community.

There's plenty more to write about. Princess Sheridan created an awesome custom clip for Goddess D and i, renewing our wedding vows in a Femdom setting. It goes without saying that Princess Sheridan is smart and sexy in all of Her clips, but i must admit that Her sense of humor (at my expense, no doubt), was the most amazing thing about the clip. It was so clever and witty and we had no idea what the subject of the clip was going to be before we received it!

i could go on and on but it's time for bed. Hopefully i have more time to revisit the blog soon!

Double Domme Experience, Round 2

Well it's official...i've gotten myself in over my head again. Goddess D and i were out on the town last night and made a late trip to the strip club without any real expectations. There were no assurances the dancer from the previous visit would be there as we hadn't exchanged any messages with Her and the club was extremely crowded anyway. As far as we were concerned we might just end up having a few drinks and heading home. To my surprise, it took all of 10 minutes for the dancer to spot us and She was drawn to Goddess D like a magnet.

i sat there for quite a while while they chatted with each other. It was very loud and i couldn't hear much of what was said, but about 5 minutes went by before the dancer even acknowledged me with a condescending handshake. She may have even referred to Goddess D as beautiful and me ugly or something while initially approaching. Even now i have weird feelings about it. Clearly i have no expectation that a dancer i really don't know will have any kind of real affection for me. She's made some decent money off of me and obviously She has affection for that at a minimum (i'm not an idiot when it comes to these matters, really). However, we always got along very well, had some good conversations and generally had fun. She flipped the switch so fast to a Domme demeanor and even in friendly moments out on the main floor, She demonstrated that attitude of superiority after treating me completely normally as recently as two weeks ago. There is still respectful conversation amongst the three of us when discussing all of our craziness and She is definitely worried about pushing it too far at times, but there was still a noticeable change in our interactions.

The dancer immediately treated Goddess D as superior and pretty much ignored me. Before long i noticed that Goddess D was showing Her a few things on Her phone, clearly showing the dancer material from Her Twitter account (which of course includes me naked in several compromising positions) and talking about Her experiences as a Domme and about the characteristics of some of Her subs. Candidly, i wasn't sure how i felt about the fact that this Woman was looking at gifs of my erect cock right in front of me.

This type of activity will have to slow down very soon, but we again went back into a private room. This time, i was just being dominated from the start. The dancer had at least heard of the concept of a humiliatrix and really seemed interested to learn more about that and wanted to learn from Goddess D. i've made it clear many times that there are certain things about that i'm really not very enthusiastic about. Just my luck, many of those things are what Princess Sheridan really seems to enjoy. For example, i really do not enjoy public humiliation, nor am i into any kind of "sissy" subject matter. And i say that with a respect for all fetishes. These are just things i have a very low tolerance level for and to put it bluntly, i go soft pretty quickly the moment i'm subjected to it. The dancer of course wanted to incorporate both things into our session. Fortunately, it wasn't limited to that. As usual, i was more than willing to be the guinea pig even if i didn't love everything we did. There's always the fact that i'm being dominated by two beautiful Women to appreciate, so i just had to take it.

Starting out, both Goddess D and the dancer had me on the couch and were verbally humiliating me. Having a half naked Woman taunt me from a few inches away about how i'm not even allowed to fuck my Wife, let alone Her, was pretty intense. All the while both of them were aggressively grabbing my package and pretty much getting a real time gauge of my arousal level. Goddess D didn't hold back this time in getting especially nasty, to the point where i was uncomfortable with it because the door to the room is somewhat open, servers are coming and going, and these places do have cameras. That didn't stop Goddess D from trying to get Her feet into my face and even mouth, followed by an armpit in my face when she thought it might smell. At home these things can be arousing but truly it was freaking me out. The dancer seemed to have no issue with it and was nasty in Her own right in different ways, so it was all good i suppose.

One thing the dancer did while Goddess D had a firm grip on my package was to cover my mouth and nose with Her hands. This was borderline shocking to me because, how would She even think of that? Only possible explanation i can think of is She saw the gif on Goddess D's phone for the "Smother Torture" clip? Breath play is always something that has aroused me, so although this was a fairly tame act in the grand scheme of things, it was also a first to have a Woman other than Goddess D do this to me. Later, Goddess D  held my arms down and the dancer actually got up on the couch and smothered me with Her ass. Now that was mindblowing. She asked Goddess D if She was supposed to smother me and She of course said yes. Goddess grabbed me by the hair and pushed me in there further. Of all the things that happened in the back, that was the one that i just couldn't even believe. Never would i blame a dancer for considering that completely out of bounds. Had it ever happened without Goddess D there i'd have been concerned that a boundary would have been crossed. It's a fine line in these situations i guess. But wow, i really couldn't believe that happened. i was probably in there for at least a good 30 seconds. Goddess D followed up with a little bit of that of Her own, but She was wearing jeans. The dancer commented on Her own sarcastically about farting and seemed like She would have if She had one. Leave it to Goddess D to actually have one and to do it a few minutes later. They weren't holding anything back and had no reservations about talking about subjecting me to certain unpleasant bodily functions.

Throughout my time on the couch, i was slapped in the face, grabbed by the neck, kneed in the balls, and grabbed forcefully down below by both of them. Both Women were pretty in my face with various humiliating and degrading statements. Goddess D had no problem spitting into my mouth several times.

Now all of a sudden, the dancer decides She wants to step up the humiliation. She takes Her bra off and wants me to wear it. Oh boy. So i'm sitting there with Her bra over my t-shirt and she's making fun of my A-cups. Awesome. The bra stayed on for most of the rest of our time in there.

We had some drinks on the table with leftover ice. The dancer figures it would be a great idea to stuff that ice down my pants. At first i figured She'd go with one or two handfuls, but it just kept becoming more and more to the point where it was clear She wanted it all to melt there and make it look like i had just cum in my pants or something else. Weird feeling having a dancer pretty much pack my underwear with endless amounts of ice right in front of my Wife. It didn't even seem possible that much was in our drinks. On the last reach in there, she accidentally touched the head of my cock and acted like it was the nastiest thing ever and the end of the world. Pretty humorous actually, She asked Goddess D to pour alcohol on Her finger as if that would disinfect Her and make it better somehow. Once my package was sufficiently numb, she started grinding on me hard, the closest thing to a lapdance i experienced the entire time. She just wanted to make sure i couldn't sufficiently feel it with the ice i guess. Obviously, the ice was cold as hell and her sitting down on it like that pressed it in there harder, but it had to be cold for Her too. She was just wearing underwear and pretty much called me a pussy for reacting to the ice so much while She was pretty much unfazed by it. Her underwear had to be soaked by it too, but it was black so i guess not noticeable.

After grinding on me for a few minutes, things just got weird. Damnit, they're taking my belt off again, and that can't mean anything good. The dancer takes my belt, latches it around my neck like a leash and orders me down on all fours facing Her. Mind you, i'm still wearing Her bra. She pulls me by the leash and orders me to walk on all fours like a dog behind Her and joked about parading me around outside of the room in the more public area. Oh shit, i actually had to speak up and kind of point out that pretty much pushes a boundary. She really wanted to do it, so offered a compromise that i crawl to the door with Her and she open it so somebody can see. So that's what happened. I'm on all fours, belt around my neck, bra on, and She yells out at the servers to look at the spectacle. i couldn't even look out into that direction. Just kept my head turned back in towards the back wall of the room we were in and prayed the moment would pass. One of the servers must have acknowledged it and the door was closed again. Goddess D and the dancer kept talking about keeping me in a dog cage or something like that, i couldn't even believe what i was hearing. Who is this Woman? Around this time the bra fell off and i was out of the woods with that part of it too.

Next, the dancer ordered me to lay down on the ground flat on my stomach, and have no idea why. Goddess D took the belt, the dancer took her bra (which was less effective), and they just started whipping my ass over and over again. Goddess D's swats with the belt really hurt actually. There were so many of them and i was sweating at this point. i never expected to get worked over like this. As if that wasn't enough, the dancer took a pillow, put it over the back of my head and kneeled down on it while Goddess D just continued to wail on my ass with the belt.

We were only supposed to be there for a half an hour but my best guess is whoever was responsible for calling us out on that time decided they didn't want anything to do with the freaks in that room. i can almost envision a conversation amongst the employees about who was going in there to break it all up and they all just said "fuck it" let them go until the lights turn on and they have to close. i'm pretty sure it was at least 45 minutes.

While i was on the ground, Goddess D demonstrated some scissoring and the dancer tried it out a little bit Herself. Not a whole lot of fetishes were left untouched on this night. We then noticed that my knee was bleeding all over the floor. i must have scraped it on one of the tiles while crawling on the floor. The dancer pointed out how She lifts her knees up while dancing on the stage, apparently implying that i should know how to crawl around on the floor without injuring myself. i cleaned that up, and the lights went on not much later, signaling that it was time to go.

Of course, i now had to walk out into the parking lot wearing shorts with a huge wet spot, pretty much in disbelief of what just happened to me. As we left the room Goddess D and this dancer for the second time in a row couldn't stop talking to each other, to the point where we were getting yelled at by the bouncers to leave. It sounds like we're all going to get together in a more normal environment for lunch or dinner to discuss things further sometime soon. As i mentioned, i've spent a decent amount of time in strip clubs over the years. Never did i ever think anything like this was possible, nor was i seeking it (not even on this visit). It's clear to me that this dancer in particular just has a naturally dominant side that She never fully knew how to utilize. She was always very aggressive which probably drew me to Her in the first place, but after meeting Goddess D everything just went up several levels. There is a chain of crazy events happening here. It started with Princess Sheridan and Goddess D first interacting, and now all of that knowledge and attitude is being passed along again. Safe to say another Domme has been born.

An Unexpected Double Domme Experience

Goddess D and i have, as you may have noticed by now, a relationship that can be described as adventurous and a bit unconventional. This sometimes includes "adult" experiences that would not be acceptable for most couples. Like, for example, the fact that i am owned by Goddess D but also take orders from Princess Sheridan at times. These are the types of experiences that i have personally sought out, but would never be possible without Goddess D being extremely understanding and open minded about my sexual interests. She has not only embraced these interests but genuinely has fun exploring them with me, to the point where She has now become a full fledged Domme with other subs of Her own, and enjoys it. i'd even go so far to say it's way more about Her interests than my own at this point.

One other such "adult" experience that has been a part of our marriage at times is the occasional visit to strip clubs. Sometimes we go together, but there are times that i visit with friends as well. As this subject has been brought up with Princess Sheridan, it hasn't been met with much enthusiasm. i can understand how She might view my getting a dance from another Woman as a disloyal and disrespectful act to Her and Goddess D, and not very submissive in nature. i could probably write a whole separate blog post about my level of submissiveness and the things that i have enjoyed and not so much enjoyed about all of these sub experiences thus far, but i'll save that for another day. The point is, these visits are always an extension of my fantasies. If i do get dances from a Woman, i return to Goddess D and tell Her. She makes me pay the price in a variety of ways. She often gets turned on by it and most certainly i'm susceptible to an even worse case of blue balls than ever before, in addition to a bit of a physical beat down.

Princess Sheridan has made suggestions however about my visits to these clubs with Goddess D. She suggested that visiting with Goddess D while wearing my chastity cage would be a powerful demonstration of Her control over me. This is something that, frankly, neither one of us were ever comfortable with attempting. i have no idea how the average girl at such a club would react to a device like that and i'm nervous about ending up having an awkward interaction with such a girl or even worse, with security. i explained this to Princess Sheridan and She really didn't want to hear it. All along She thought it would be an amazing opportunity for us and insisted upon it, but we've never taken such a step to date.

In the past few weeks, i visited such an establishment where i ran into a Woman, more aggressive in nature than most, that i had some experiences with previously. i actually shared a bit of info about what Goddess D and i have been up to, particularly the part about going a long time without orgasm and chastity, and She really took an interest and seemed open to meeting Goddess D. We visited together a few days later and sure enough, this Woman and Goddess kind of hit it off. While She paid a lot of attention to me on my previous visit, this time She just went straight to Goddess D and spent the entire time on Her lap while i was kind of an afterthought. As a matter of fact Goddess D in the first minute told Her to call me a loser, and She did so immediately. This was shaping up to be something quite new and i was getting a little nervous.

After a few drinks and some time getting to know each other, the idea of the three of us getting a private room came up. This isn't usually something i like to do. It obviously can get expensive, but to me this was a potential "once in a lifetime" type of experience and we went for it. This dancer really wanted to learn a few things from Goddess D about being a Domme.

The time in the back started out tame enough. Goddess D did take off Her shirt and at least early on, the Woman kind of ran with things, wanting me to double up on Goddess D with Her and make Her feel good. Probably a common approach She takes when giving dances to a couple. Before long though, once I was the one seated, things got pretty wild. i expected maybe to get danced on, possibly taunted for not having cum in so long, etc. But this ended up being nothing of the sort. Things got extremely physical. i can't even recall how it got to this point but before long Goddess D was holding my arms while the other Woman was encouraged to smack me in the balls. It hurt like hell of course, as i can't really take much of that very easily. Still, i was wearing jeans and that provided enough protection for it to be somewhat bearable, and i started to get hard. The Woman noticed that i was getting hard and the position of my dick and pretty much pointed it out to Goddess D, and they both started wailing on it harder. Goddess D then held my arms again and told Her to bite it. That was a new one but yes, Goddess held my arms while a stripper sunk Her teeth into my manhood over the jeans. Unreal. Next they removed my belt and had me on all fours. Goddess D observed while this Woman smacked me in the ass with the belt. This was surely something She's done to the bachelor for bachelor parties, so i wasn't as surprised about this, that is until she kicked me in the ass knocking me to the floor when She was done. Almost forgot also that somewhere in the middle of all of this, the two of them were making out right in front of me. Not a cliche male fantasy or anything right? Obviously i'm a lucky man. Once back on the couch, time was finally up and one of the bouncers came in to tell us it was time to go. We were rowdy, so i immediately stood up not wanting to get in trouble. This Woman's instinct took over and right in front of this guy, she kicked me square in the gut, right back onto the couch!

After all of this, the dancer insisted on getting Goddess D's phone number and sharing some contact information. She seemed excited about the possibility of my visiting again but with the chastity device on, so if that can be prearranged when we know She'll be there, maybe it will happen. After all of that back-and-forth with Princess and my hesitancy, She was quick to say "I told you so". It was a matter of working out the details, but perhaps i shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss Her ideas. Don't get me wrong, i loved Her ideas, but just couldn't see any practical way to make it happen. Suddenly, there are a few "in person" double Domme possibilities developing. Maybe they make their way to the clip store, but probably not. Still very fun to think about the possibilities!

New Experiences, New Opportunities

In my last post i expressed confidence that i'd be posting more often, and yet here we are almost a month later with this being my first new post. So many amazing things are happening in terms of a whole world continuing to open up for us. D is hearing from new people through email and Twitter all the time, and as one would expect the spectrum is wide. Some people just wasting Her time, others are providing positive feedback on clips, some are going so far as to become Her online subs, and there's even a case of another couple similar to us kind of reaching out and trying to be more adventurous in their own relationship. That last one in particular is especially cool to me. Much in the way Princess Sheridan reached out to Goddess D and acted as a mentor to Her with this subject matter, Goddess D is now conversing with a woman and having productive conversations. At a minimum they can share feelings and experiences and sort of compare notes with each other, and best case what we're doing in our clips maybe provides some ideas they'll use in their own relationship.

D and i of course use a lot of discretion in the way we interact with people, careful to protect our identities and respect the privacy of those we interact with as well. That being said, now that D has a successful clip store and is at least in some small way a part of this industry, we've had interaction with a few other established Dommes, most notably Princess Sheridan of course, who got this entire ball rolling by expressing interest in speaking with Goddess D. None of this would have been possible or nearly as successful without Her influence. Conversations with other Dommes have been discussion only, more of a learning and networking thing than anything else. A lot of great advice has been shared with us when it comes to shooting clips, managing a clip store, etc. It's crazy to say but some of these Dommes have even suggested (perhaps just being nice) the possibility of shooting with D at some point in our travels. Admittedly, that seems like a significant leap right now. Make no mistake that we're still total amateurs at this, lacking the equipment and expertise to even come close to the levels of quality seen in some of the better established stores. Regardless, even an opportunity to meet up for lunch or drinks with some people who are well established in the industry is kind of cool to think about and may very well happen at some point. It's weird to go from being a general fan and distant observer to being kind of embedded in this world. The clip store, to my surprise, is continuing to succeed at a level beyond expected.

The chemistry between D and i continues to evolve now that we're so much more in the public eye. Sometimes we are both so busy things feel the way they used to feel., but other times i come home and unexpectedly am ordered to kiss Her feet for a rather long amount of time. She's always very careful to make sure i know my place with such reminders. When it comes to the on camera stuff, to be honest i don't know how much more i can take. Physically, i feel the effects of what She's done to me every single day. At this point i'm always on edge having not experienced a full orgasm in 166 days. She makes me look into Her eyes as she coldly explains that basically there's no end in sight, that i have every reason to be worried. Intense as hell without a doubt, but wow i really do strongly desire some relief at this point and it feels completely hopeless.

In one recent development, i do have a new chastity cage. The ring on the previous one broke and although we did pick up the replacement part, it was a good opportunity to try something different. We went with the Holy Trainer device which, when combined with an accessory called the "guardian", fits so much more comfortably. This one really forces any erection straight down and just seems more effective. It has me feeling more owned than ever.

To conclude, this all continues to be a whirlwind. It seems impossible at times to keep up with real life and all it can throw at us, in addition to editing responsibilities that take up a significant amount of time. D of course is more consumed with Her subs and there are many times there just aren't enough hours in the day. Not going to lie, but sometimes it's so hyper busy that it's a challenge to enjoy all of this as much as we'd both like. Hopefully some things slow down so we can stay in the groove!

142 Days and Counting

Been a crazy busy last month, but i hope to check in more often now. One thing that hasn't changed in all that time is the fact that i'm still forbidden to have a pleasurable orgasm, and it's really getting to me now. When i'm taken out of chastity and edged or allowed to edge, the next day is so extremely uncomfortable. i'm not sure if anybody else has had an experience like this before, but i feel like sometimes the simplest friction, even normal friction with my underwear, could cause me to erupt at any moment. i really don't know if this is possible or not but the sensation is scary, especially when i'm not at home.

It's really not a matter of being backed up, as i've been given several ruined orgasms by now. But anyone who has endured ruined orgasms surely knows that they're called ruined for a reason if done properly. There's no pleasure, only more frustration. Truly though i had no idea that this is how the body would react over this amount of time. Goddess D doesn't seem very sympathetic. If anything She seems to want to demonstrate just how little She cares every chance She gets. When i started day 1 in chastity way back in November, i expected no more than a month, and i didn't know She was going to put me in chastity at all. To go from daily orgasms to none like this has been a true test.

i do miss the days that i could get off with Goddess D any time i wanted. She reminds me of that all the time. i also miss being able to watch fetish clips and get off to them. It's crazy for example to think about how much money has been spent on Princess Sheridan's clips and the fact that not even once have i been able to get off to any of them. i discovered Princess Sheridan when in chastity, and 4 months later i'm still in chastity. Goddess D seems to show some mercy at times to other subs but with me, She's talking years and i can't tell if She's completely serious or not. It's way more than i bargained for and Her power over me is so very real! i'm very lucky in so many ways, but wow is this a challenge.

A lot happened today and i'm sure most of it will end up in the clip store. In one case, Goddess D had what had to be the loudest orgasm of Her life. She made Me put my tongue in Her ass the entire time and edged me throughout the session. Then right back in chastity when it was all over. Walking around after that was physically painful. It felt like each of my balls weighed 10 pounds! For my sake i just hope i can get through the work week without too much discomfort, but i'm definitely not holding my breath.

Speaking of holding my breath, Goddess played a smothering facesitting game with me today. Long story short i had to hold my breath for up to 2 minutes at times and when i failed i was punched in the gut!

i guess She was making up for lost time today but when it was all over, i felt dizzy in the head, both from lack of oxygen and all the blood running down to my cock from the relentless teasing. There should be a bit more time for these activities now, so i guess i had better be ready for anything!

Dommes Can Be Real People with Real Ethical Values

Yeah, weird title for a blog post i guess, but i was on a bit of a different wavelength today. Many of us probably were with the horrific news of what's going on in Europe. While my life has been an amazing rollercoaster ride filled with Femdom excitement of late, it doesn't seem constructive to blog about that all the time. The clips that have been released have been a pretty solid representation of it anyway. With so much more of our activities public, i almost don't know what to do with this blog lately.

Anyway, back to the subject line. i think that far too often there's a misconception that being a Domme means being a man-hating bitch that wants nothing more than to suck up cash by any means necessary, to wreck marriages without a care and move on to the next poor sucker, ignorant to anything else that's going on in the world. It's always going to be a fine line. But to me there's no ethical struggle if a man voluntarily enters into an arrangement with a Domme and gets in over his head. The Domme didn't make him do that any more than a bartender made somebody an alcoholic or a poker player is at fault for taking their opponent's money. Now, do unethical people exist in the industry in some proportion? i'm sure they do. But it's probably no more common in the world of Femdom than the occasional bad apple that may exist in any more mainstream population. If you take the time to get to know people in this community, most Dommes (and subs) are really quite normal people. i wish more people understood this and acted accordingly.

Not that i needed reminding, but i was reminded of this when i woke up this morning and saw the horrible news out of Belgium and looked at my Twitter feed. Princess Sheridan was one of many Dommes i observed Tweeting not about the usual subject matter or promoting a clip, but instead expressing the very same frustration and outrage that any of us with a heart would feel. i immediately thought of Yuri, one of Her most loyal subs who lives in the general region and reached out to him with concern for his friends and family, as this certainly hit close to home for him. Fortunately his friends and family are safe. The overall point is that despite all of the crazy interactions, the humiliating tasks and demands, this is all mutual interaction and at the core of it there's an unspoken respect. i don't need to know every last thing about a Domme to recognize that She adheres to a solid code of ethics and can be trusted. i'm proud to know people with that kind of character in all walks of my life, including and especially in the BDSM community. If you take the time to get to know many of these people you'll find that they are extremely thoughtful and even more "normal" and respectful than those you may come across in mainstream interactions. i've only been in contact with Princess Sheridan and some of Her subs for a few months at this point, but it doesn't take long to figure out that these are good people. i mean, yeah, Princess seems to take great delight in seeing me get my ass fucked, paddled to the point of tears, and making me humiliate myself in any way that might please Her. But i can see beyond all that. :)

It's funny because when i think back to my original interactions with Princess Sheridan after i ordered the first custom from Her, when She first asked whether my situation with my Wife was real and showed interest in talking to Her, my initial reaction was indeed one of caution. Just in case She really was one of those Dommes looking to play out some kind of unethical blackmail/homewrecker scenario out on me! Her response said it all and i was immediately comfortable:

Homewrecker? LOL! I wouldn't dream of fucking up what you have. I wish all My subbies have what you have. When the time comes I would love to talk to your much much better half. Just us... not you. Of course you'll find out about what we talk about at the opportune moment :p I hope this gets this far eventually. All up to you.

i probably don't need to elaborate on how awesome that was and why Princess Sheridan is just amazing. "From Fantasy to Reality" in Her clip store is the culmination of all of this. Who knew? She didn't have to do that. i certainly didn't directly ask for it. But three months later, here we are. i mean seriously look at where we freaking are lol. This has all been beyond belief.

Clearly, in order for a Domme to be a Domme, image is important. If every Domme just shared their philosophies and real feelings all the time and didn't post sexy pics and talk down to their subbies, there would be no business. That said, i can honestly say that the most rewarding interactions i've had with any Domme have just involved speaking with them on a more real, intelligent level and getting to know the real person a bit more outside of just the fetishes and kinks. When that connection is made, it's a lot sexier to share Domme/sub experiences from there. To me there's nothing sexier than a Woman getting into an intelligent man's head and then using that knowledge and Her sexuality to make him stupid. :) It's certainly worked with my Wife Goddess D, and it works with Princess Sheridan,

A Domme's life is just so much more fascinating than most random acquaintances. Even if i'm not on the receiving end and actually being dominated, i love sharing all the stories and experiences with people in the community we have connected with, and i feel like we're just barely scratching the surface!

As things develop further between Goddess D and i and this clip store, Princess Sheridan continues to be at the forefront as an influence. Every day Goddess is more and more capable, but we still both so very much appreciate all that Princess brings to the table as a mentor to Goddess D and as a Domme to me. It's actually become pretty clear that much of what Princess finds entertaining is not very compatible with most of my Femdom-related interests. But honestly it doesn't even matter. i would be a freaking idiot to not recognize what a great situation this is. Even if certain things are unpleasant, i'm being forced to do unpleasant things for two incredibly attractive Dommes, and that in itself is a dream come true!

Enough babbling for one night though. i'll leave you with a pic from an upcoming clip that seems to be one of Goddess D's more popular ones on Twitter lately. i was desperate for air but yet in heaven at the same time. Such conflicting feelings!